-Hey, guys, Thanksgiving is less than a week away.
[ Cheering ]
Which means, if you haven't left for the airport by now,
you're screwed.
[ Cheers and applause, laughter ]
Let's get to some news, here, guys.
I heard that President Trump is gonna meet with
North Korean leader Kim Jong-un after the new year.
Makes sense, 'caused Trump's New Year's resolution
is to appreciate the little things.
[ Laughter ]
That's right. Trump and Kim Jong-un
are planning to get together after New Year's.
That's interesting, 'cause when most people say,
"Let's get together after New Year's,"
that really means, "Let's never get together."
[ Laughter ]
I saw that, today, Trump presented the Medal of Freedom
to seven people, including Babe Ruth.
When asked why he chose Babe Ruth, Trump said,
[ as Donald Trump ] "He's a legend.
It was his idea to combine peanuts, caramel, and nougat
into one beautiful, beautiful candy bar."
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Normal voice ] Some business news --
Facebook wants to make it easier
for users to find jobs on their site.
You can tell that they've got a hacking problem
because whatever resume you put in, Facebook just says,
[ In Russian accent ] "You will work in the fields."
[ Laughter ]
[ Normal voice ] Hey, it was announced that the final season
of "Game of Thrones" will debut next April.
[ Cheering ]
Fans said that they were excited to reunite
with the characters they've loved over the past 8 years
and watch them all die horribly.
[ Laughter ]
It's gonna be great.
Oh, get this -- in a new interview,
Prince William said that his dad, Prince Charles,
is completely infatuated with squirrels,
and likes naming them, feeding them,
and letting them inside the house.
[ Laughter ]
He said he even carries nuts in his pocket.
[ Laughter ]
When asked about it, Princes Charles said,
[ In British accent ] "Yes, it's true.
over the years, I've developed a deep affection for squirrels.
Then, he said, "There's nothing I enjoy more
than strolling around Buckingham Palace,
removing nuts from my trousers,
sharing them with my squirrel friends.
I'm so comfortable with them,
sometimes I'll even doze off, and wake up to the sensation
of squirrels nibbling on my nuts."
Then, he said, "If they're well-behaved,
I'll spoil my rodent chums by dropping a pinch of salt
on my nuts, then watching as the little buggers go to town.
And if I'm feeling playful, I'll tease the rascals
by dangling my salted nuts in front of them
before quickly yanking them away."
[ Normal voice ] And finally, Queen Elizabeth said,
[ In British accent ] "Charles, this is why
you can never have the throne!"
[ Cheers and applause, laughter ]
-Really? -[ Normal voice ] He loves squirrels.
-Squirrels? He loves squirrels? -The guys loves squirrels, yeah.
Hey, listen to this, guys -- a man in Japan
just spent $18,000 to marry a cartoon hologram.
That explains why her side of the aisle
didn't have any friends, and why his side didn't, either.
Check this out. For the holidays,
I saw that Jimmy Dean is giving away wrapping paper
that smells like sausage.
[ Light laughter ]
It's being called "the most festive way to make sure
your dog destroys everything under the tree."
[ Laughter ]
This guy gets it.
This guy totally gets it, right here.
Yeah. You know what that means.
It's time for the "This guy gets it" song.
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
♪ This guy gets it ♪
♪ This guy gets the joke ♪
♪ I did the setup and the punch line ♪
♪ Then, he laughed after I spoke ♪
♪ He seems really nice and fun ♪
♪ I think that we'd probably be friends ♪
♪ But we lead two different lives ♪
♪ So, this is where our story ends ♪
[ Light laughter, "aww"ing ]
♪ But that's okay ♪
♪ 'Cause I'll never forget ♪
Two, three, that --
♪ This guy gets it ♪
-♪ He gets it ♪ -♪ This guy gets it ♪
-♪ He gets it ♪ -♪ This guy gets it ♪
-♪ He gets it ♪ -♪ This guy gets it ♪
-♪ He gets it ♪ -♪ This guy, he got the joke ♪
-♪ He got it ♪ -♪ We weren't sure that it would work ♪
-♪ He got it ♪ -♪ This guy gets it ♪
♪ He gets it ♪
♪ This guy, he gets me ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
Give it up for that guy getting it.
[ Cheers and applause ]
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