Tuesday, November 20, 2018

Trump news on Youtube Nov 20 2018

The mind of Donald Trump.

The other idea he had for the wall,

was he said America should build the wall out of solar panels.

That's what he said.

He said America should build the wall out of solar panels

because that way the wall would generate electricity

and pay for itself.

Yeah. Now, I'm not going to lie. That's a good idea, right.

It's a good idea,

unless you know anything about solar panels, or the sun or walls.

The problem with that idea is that the sun is up.

A solar panel wall won't work, because a wall is like this.

So, technically it's facing down.

So, unless you have a really swaggy sun.

That's like, "Yeah, I shine real low, B."

It's not going to work for you.

The only way it works is if you take your border solar panel

and lean it at an angle to get the sun rays,

but if you do that, you've created a giant ramp

for Mexicans to shoot into America.

Just like, "Órale..."

For more infomation >> "President Donald Trump's Wall" - Trevor Noah - Son Of Patricia NOW streaming on Netflix! - Duration: 1:14.

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Stephen Interviews Chris Wallace's Interview Of Donald Trump - Duration: 1:49.

For more infomation >> Stephen Interviews Chris Wallace's Interview Of Donald Trump - Duration: 1:49.

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Trump Flubs The Name Of The Disaster Zone He's In - Duration: 3:43.

For more infomation >> Trump Flubs The Name Of The Disaster Zone He's In - Duration: 3:43.

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Melania Trump Has More Staffing Demands - Duration: 4:09.

For more infomation >> Melania Trump Has More Staffing Demands - Duration: 4:09.

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【IPO-Gaming:007】Ketika Saitama Jadi Bodyguard Presiden Trump !! 【MR.PRESIDENT】 - Duration: 7:41.

For more infomation >> 【IPO-Gaming:007】Ketika Saitama Jadi Bodyguard Presiden Trump !! 【MR.PRESIDENT】 - Duration: 7:41.

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Raking News: Trump Has a Forest Fire Fix - Duration: 3:59.

For more infomation >> Raking News: Trump Has a Forest Fire Fix - Duration: 3:59.

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Trump Pardons Turkeys, What Trump Calls Siri - Monologue - Duration: 4:10.

-Let's get to the news.

While surveying fire damage this weekend,

President Trump attempted to refer to

the hard-hit town of Paradise, California,

but couldn't get the name right.

-And what we saw at Pleasure. What a name right now.

But what we just saw -- We just left Pleasure.

-Paradise. -Or Paradise.

-Ugh! He's like a guy who's trying to show his friend

a porn video but keeps typing the wrong thing

into the search bar.

"It was just here.

It was called 'Trouble in Pleasure.'

I don't understand."

Also, nobody wants to hear

dirty grandpa over here say the word "pleasure."

He might as well have said, "This fire

really devastated the town of Moist."

During his visit to California on Friday to survey

the damage caused by wildfires, President Trump said,

"Nobody would have ever thought this could happen."

Really? Because it literally happens every year.

Do you have the same reaction

when a "Fast and Furious" sequel comes out?

"No one saw this coming. I..."

President Trump and First Lady Melania today

participated in the White House Christmas-tree delivery

and then, as usual, had a silent night.

[ Cheers and applause ]

President Trump will pardon two Turkeys tomorrow,

but, first, Robert Mueller will subpoena them.

After losing her gubernatorial race in the midterms,

Georgia Democrat Stacey Abrams said she plans to run

for elected office again.

[ Cheers and applause ]

And Georgia officials have already started

rolling out the new voting machines.

It wasn't all gonna be positive, guys.

That's what you get for clapping during the setup.

"Yeah! Yeah! Let's hear more.

Oh."

After "The New York Times" ran an article

questioning Vice President Mike Pence's loyalty

to President Trump, Trump called the article "phony."

Incidentally, that's also what he calls Siri.

"Phony, where's Pleasure, California?"

Former New York mayor Michael Bloomberg, yesterday,

pledged to donate $1.8 billion to student financial aid

at Johns Hopkins University, setting a record

for the largest-ever donation to a U.S. college or university.

And, boy, was he pissed when the alumni society

called him the next day.

"Hi. Would you like to make a donation?"

"Are you kidding? Me?! Lose my number."

A celebrity beauty expert suggested

that the best way to avoid puffy skin from air travel

is to cover your face in a layer of Vaseline before boarding.

Said her seat-mate, "Oh, wow. That's so interesting.

Thank you. Thank you."

[ Laughs ]

I acted the hell out of that one, guys.

I don't know what more you want from me.

I mimed the earbuds and everything.

"Thank you. Okay." [ Cheers and applause ]

Win 'em over.

All I had to do was beg for it.

And, finally, the adult website Pornhub has launched

a new fashion collection featuring

tote bags, T-shirts, and socks.

Well, one sock.

For more infomation >> Trump Pardons Turkeys, What Trump Calls Siri - Monologue - Duration: 4:10.

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Trump's Weird Lie About Raking in Finland: A Closer Look - Duration: 12:50.

-President Trump made up another weird thing

about a foreign country while attacking a retired Admiral

for not getting Osama bin Laden sooner.

For more on this, it's time for "A Closer Look."

[ Cheers and applause ]

Whether you believe Donald Trump colluded with Russia or not,

whether you consider him a threat to democracy or not,

one thing I think everyone can agree on is that he is weird.

He is a weird man.

Just a flag-hugging, umbrella-ditching,

can't do a normal handshake kind of weirdo.

And one of the weird little things about

Donald Trump's presidency is that every few months or so

he concocts a bizarre lie about another country,

and then everyone in that country has to figure out

what the hell he's talking about.

Remember when he did it to Sweden last year?

-You look at what's happening last night in Sweden.

Sweden, who would believe this? Sweden.

-Now, those words about Sweden sparked a quick backlash

with officials in that country who wanted to know

what he was talking about because there was no attack

in Sweden the previous night.

-This was front-page news here on Monday,

it's also been the subject of a significant amount of ridicule

online and people you talk to here making jokes, you know.

What was Donald Trump referring to last night

when he spoke on Saturday, jokes like,

"Hey, did someone take all our Swedish meatballs?"

-Okay, but please don't joke about it

because then Trump will think you're serious

and start repeating that, too.

-Immigrants are sneaking into Sweden

and stealing their meatballs, folks.

And it's very upsetting to their celebrity chefs.

He called me last night.

He called me on the phone last night and he said,

and these are his exact words, he said to me,

"Schmorgity, borgity, borgity, borg."

And you know, it's so true. I said it's so true.

Seriously, you know it's bad when even the Swedes

are mocking us.

This would be like Ikea changing their instructions to this.

[ Laughter ]

Then Trump did it again in September

when he went to the U.N. and said something about Germany

that was so detached from reality,

even the German delegation couldn't help but laugh at him.

-Germany will become totally dependent on Russian energy

if it does not immediately change course.

Here in the Western hemisphere we are committed to maintaining

our independence from the encroachment

of expansionist foreign powers.

[ Laughter ]

-Not only are these dudes laughing,

but look at this lady's face.

[ Laughter ]

She doesn't know what the hell he's talking about

and she's from a country where this is a real word.

[ Laughter ]

And then there's one of Trump's weirdest recurring lines,

that he has a friend in Paris

who keeps telling him that Paris is no longer Paris.

-I have a friend, every year he goes to Paris.

I haven't seen him in awhile.

Paris, oh, the city of lights.

He's told me for years, Paris, Paris.

I see him, like, a month ago.

"How was Paris this summer?"

"I don't go to Paris, are you kidding me?"

I have a friend used to go to Paris, loved Paris.

I said to him recently, "How was Paris this summer?"

"He said we don't go to Paris."

He said, "Paris is no longer Paris."

Which is obviously true.

I have a friend, he's a very, very substantial guy.

He loves the city of lights. He loves Paris.

And I said, Jim, let me ask you a question.

"How is Paris doing?"

"Paris? I don't go there anymore.

Paris is no longer Paris."

-I feel like what happened here, is Trump went to Paris,

met a mime, and misinterpreted what he was saying.

My friend Jim told me immigrants are climbing,

they're climbing into Paris -- They're trying to pull.

The police are trying to pull them out, but they can't,

and that's why, you know, they need, you know.

They need a wall.

[ Cheers and applause ]

I'd rather talk to a mime than an American who calls it Pa-ris.

He's telling me Pa-ris, Pa-ris.

So if you're keeping track, Trump he made up

a fake terror attack in Sweden,

claimed Germany was captive to Russia,

and said Paris just doesn't exist anymore.

And Trump did it again over the weekend when he traveled to

California to survey damage from the wildfires there.

He made a very strange claim

about how they prevent forest fires in Finland.

Watch as your deeply weird President stands awkwardly

to the current incumbent governors of California

and rambles, incoherently, like he just overdosed on SUDAFED.

-I'm committing to make sure that we get all of this

cleaned out and protected,

Gotta take care of the floors, the floors of the forest.

It's very important.

You look at other countries where they do it differently,

and it's a whole different story.

I was with the president of Finland and he said,

"We have a much different -- we're a forest nation."

He called it a forest nation.

And they spend a lot of time on raking

and cleaning and doing things and they don't have any problem.

And what it is, it's a very small problem.

I know everybody's looking at that to that end.

And it's going to work out. It's going to work out well.

-Look at everyone else trying not to look at him.

They all look like parents at the grocery store

Whose toddler just said, "Daddy, that lady is fat."

[ Laughter ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

If you didn't know Trump was president,

you'd think he was a weirdo who just walked up to them

from his trailer in the woods.

He's going to be covered in leaves

and holding a giant walking stick.

You got to rake the floors!

You got to rake the floors of the forest!

[ Laughter ]

That's what my friend, Nutty the squirrel, told me,

isn't that right, Nutty?

Can we go back to this real quick.

-You got to take care of the floors.

You know, the floors of the forest.

-Why does he call it the floor of the forest?

It's the ground.

[ Laughter ]

Does he also call the sky the ceiling of the Earth?

The more he talks, the clearer it is

that he has never been outside.

[ Laughter ]

These wildfires, the floor is filthy, now we got to mop it up.

We'll also be replacing these wood columns with steel beams.

And as you can see, the roof is gone.

And of course, once again --

[ Cheers and applause ]

Once again it happened with Sweden, Germany, and Paris,

the president of Finland had to come out

and publicly clarify that he did not, in fact, tell Trump

that people in his country rake the floors of the forest.

-The President of Finland says he did discuss

the California wildfires with President Trump,

but he doesn't quite recall the conversation the same way.

He said they did talk about California's wildfires,

and some of the ways that Finland maintains the forest,

but raking did not come up.

-Keeps happening.

Trump makes up something insane about another country

and then the president of that country

has to come out and say it's not true.

We're like a week away from the president of Romania

calling a press conference to say,

"I did not tell President Trump that vampires are real."

And again...

[ Applause ]

And again, just as the Germans laughed at us,

and the Swedes made fun of us, the Finnish people are now

mocking Trump's comments on social media,

like this woman who tweeted

"Just an ordinary day in the Finnish forest."

with a picture of herself vacuuming the ground outside.

You mean that? That's pretty good. That's very good.

Can we see real quick the German reaction to that?

There you go. They like it.

Trump has to concoct fantastical lies like this

because they reinforce his diluted world view

and they're easier to swallow than reality,

and in this case the reality is that man-made climate change

is making these fires more frequent and extreme,

but Trump would rather make up an insane fantasy

about firefighters raking forest floors

than admit that climate change is having

deadly real-world consequences.

Just watch this exchange from an interview "Fox News"

aired over the weekend.

-I was watching the firemen the other day.

And they were raking areas.

They were raking areas where the fire was, right over there.

And they're raking trees, little trees, like this, --

not trees, little bushes, that you could see are totally dry.

Weeds. And they're raking them. They're on fire.

That should have been all raked out and cleaned out.

-What about the argument it's climate change?

That it's drier, it's hotter,

and that that's contributing to it?

-maybe it contributes a little bit.

The big problem we have is management.

You need forest management. It has to be.

I'm not saying that in a negative way,

I'm just saying the facts.

And I've really learned a lot.

-No, you haven't.

Though in fairness, if you don't know anything

and then you learn one thing, it seems like a lot.

[ Laughter ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

The president is a conspiracy theorist

who makes up cartoonish lies about everything

from wildfires to immigration.

And when you call him out, he attacks you.

Just take retired Admiral William McRaven,

a Navy SEAL who oversaw the raid that killed Osama bin Laden.

McRaven has criticized Trump's attacks on the press

and in return, Trump decided to insult him.

-Bill McRaven, retired Admiral, Navy SEAL, 37 years,

former head of U.S. Special Operations.

-Hillary Clinton fan. -Special operations --

-Excuse me, Hillary Clinton fan.

-Who led the operations, commanded the operations

that took down Saddam Hussein and killed Osama bin Laden

says that your sentiment is

the greatest threat to democracy in his lifetime.

-He's a Hillary Clinton backer and an Obama backer.

And, frankly -- -He's a Navy SEAL.

-Wouldn't it have been nice if we got

Osama bin Laden a lot sooner than that.

-You're attacking him for not getting Osama bin Laden sooner?

Oh, because I totally could see you charging in there

in your hat and your wind breaker,

swinging a rake like it's a sword.

Where are you? Osama? Osama!

I'm gonna -- I'm gonna rake your floors.

[ Laughter ]

Trump then went on to claim that it was obvious

to everyone where bin Laden was hiding,

and also found a way to work in a very strange dig

at bin Laden's compound.

-Think of this, living in Pakistan,

beautifully in Pakistan in what I guess

they considered a nice mansion, I don't know, I've seen nicer.

Mm.

You can make this idiot a president

And everything still comes back to real estate.

It's in a little neighborhood in the middle of Pakistan,

I call it Mid-Pac.

[ Laughter ]

The Mid-Packing district.

[ Laughter ]

Only Donald Trump.

Only Donald Trump can make himself feel better

by implying he has a nicer house than Osama bin Laden.

Bin laden's already one of the most hated evil people

in the history of human civilization.

You're not, like, burning him by saying he has a crappy house.

Who's Trump gonna go after next?

You know, people make fun of my hair,

but it's much nicer than the Unabomber's.

[ Laughter ]

We have a president who concocts outlandish lies

and spreads conspiracy theories and attacks anyone

who calls him out, and all the while

the rest of the world laughs at us,

from Finland to Germany to --

-Sweden!

-This has been "A Closer Look."

[ Cheers and applause ]

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