Trump news on Youtube Oct 1 2017

World War 3 threat: Trump issues stark threat to 'little Rocket Man' Kim and North Korea

The war of words between President Trump and the Hermit Kingdoms young dictator has continued to escalate after the Kim regime test-fired an Intercontinental Ballistic Missile (ICBM) in July.

Now the Republican firebrand has warned Kim enough is enough – telling Secretary of State Rex Tillerson the time for talk is over.

The President tweeted: I told Rex Tillerson, our wonderful Secretary of State, that he is wasting his time trying to negotiate with Little Rocket Man.

Save your energy Rex, well do what has to be done! Mr Tillerson has repeatedly committed to finding a diplomatic resolution to the North Korean threat despite the blustering rhetoric of his Commander in Chief.

For more infomation >> World War 3 threat: Trump issues stark threat to 'little Rocket Man' Kim and North Korea - Duration: 1:20.

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A bad week for Trump ends with Tom Price's resignation 9/29/17 - Duration: 6:49.

For more infomation >> A bad week for Trump ends with Tom Price's resignation 9/29/17 - Duration: 6:49.

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Puerto Ricans fire back at Trump for critical tweets - Duration: 5:29.

For more infomation >> Puerto Ricans fire back at Trump for critical tweets - Duration: 5:29.

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President Trump criticizes government officials in Puerto Rico - Duration: 1:02.

For more infomation >> President Trump criticizes government officials in Puerto Rico - Duration: 1:02.

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Trump's Hypocrisy Problem: Private Planes, Private Emails, And Public Humiliation - Duration: 4:28.

When Donald Trump was campaigning to be President of the United States, the phrase drain the

swamp became one of the centerpieces of that campaign.

It's something that Republicans, Trump supporters on Twitter still tweet out when talking to

the President, about the President.

They really believe that he has drained the swamp in Washington, D.C.

So, let's take a good hard look at what that newly drained swamp looks like.

Well, it looks a hell of a lot like American taxpayers have paid $300,000 for Health and

Human Services Secretary, Tom Price, to fly on private jets zipping all around this country.

$300,000 at the expense of U.S. taxpayers to spend his time on private jets.

The most recent one was a trip to Nashville from D.C. that cost taxpayers a little over,

I think, $17,000, because Tom Price is too good to fly commercial.

He's got to take those private jets for whatever the hell it is he's doing.

Scott Pruitt at the EPA is doing the same thing.

They're out there taking both personal trips and business trips on private jets at the

expense of U.S. taxpayers.

That's not exactly draining the swamp.

What it is draining are the federal government's cash reserves, because not only are they spending

our tax dollars, but you're also trying to cut taxes for the wealthy, so there's going

to be even less, fewer tax dollars for these guys to spend on private jets.

But I'm sure the Trump administration will find a way to pay for more of these flights,

possibly by killing Medicaid and after-school programs and things like that.

You know, those aren't as important as having your idiots that work for you fly around in

private jets.

But private jets aren't the only problem.

Another centerpiece of the Trump campaign was lock her up.

Remember that chant that Republicans would say at the Trump rallies in reference to Hillary

Clinton for using a private email account?

Well, as it turns out, we now have no fewer than six people within the Trump administration

who have been caught using private email accounts for official government work, a move that

is potentially illegal, depending on the expansion and the definition of the Presidential Records

Act.

If they're running any campaign issues through their personal email accounts on White House

equipment, that would be a violation of the Hatch Act.

So far there's no indication that either one of those Acts have been violated.

But what has been violated is our right as American citizens to not have such a hypocritical

President and administration in office.

They wanted to put Hillary Clinton behind bars forever because she used a private email

account, and now six people, including two members of Trump's own family, have been busted

doing the same thing.

That is one of the ... I mean, that's the height of hypocrisy at this point.

That's what we're living in and they don't seem to see a problem with it.

Yeah, technically, what these people are doing is not illegal, but when you made your entire

campaign about one woman using a private email while she worked in the federal government,

then six of your people turn around and do the same thing, you have a very real problem

on your hands, Mr. President, because you're the one who made this an issue.

Donald Trump has suffered public humiliation after public humiliation.

Really, in the last week alone, he got trounced by the NFL, his candidate du jour of Alabama

lost, and so he had to go back and delete all those tweets supporting him.

The private plane issue is now under investigation by Congress, and damn near everybody in his

administration's trying to use private emails to conduct official White House business.

And this is all, folks, in the span of one very bad week for President Trump.

For more infomation >> Trump's Hypocrisy Problem: Private Planes, Private Emails, And Public Humiliation - Duration: 4:28.

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Melania Trump fans hit out at Michelle Obama for reading Dr Seuss books - Duration: 3:36.

For more infomation >> Melania Trump fans hit out at Michelle Obama for reading Dr Seuss books - Duration: 3:36.

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Trump Spars With San Juan Mayor - Duration: 2:33.

For more infomation >> Trump Spars With San Juan Mayor - Duration: 2:33.

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What's the latest Trump-Russia investigation news? 9/30/17 - Duration: 10:47.

For more infomation >> What's the latest Trump-Russia investigation news? 9/30/17 - Duration: 10:47.

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Trump Jr. Cancelled Secret Service Protection So He Could Go Kill A Moose - Duration: 4:17.

Awhile back when it was announced that Donald Trump, Jr. would be giving up his Secret Service

detail protection, there were a lot of rumors swirling as to why Trump Jr. would no longer

want Secret Service around him to protect him.

One of the things many people had thought was that was cause he didn't want the Secret

Service to overhear any kind of secretive conversations that he was having.

But as it turns out, the truth is a lot less sinister than that.

In fact, the truth has more to do with Donald Trump, Jr.'s insecurity as a man than it does

about any kind of scandalous behavior because reports are now saying that Donald Trump,

Jr., the reason he wanted to get rid of his Secret Service detail, was cause he wanted

to go hunting in Canada to kill what he killed what he called, "A very big moose."

This little man, this little insecure man, wanted his Secret Service out of the way so

that he could go into the wilderness and kill a very large docile animal without the animal

ever seeing him or having a chance to fight back.

Because that's the kind of man that Trump Jr. really is.

He has to go out and kill something bigger than him, something that could potentially

be dangerous, just so that he can feel like a real guy for a few minutes.

Because for some reason, his anatomy, maybe his hormone levels, maybe they're just not

quite right, and he doesn't feel like a dude when he walks around.

So he decides to go kill a thing.

He didn't want the Secret Service there because then it becomes a whole ordeal.

The press is there because they notice all the Secret Service.

Maybe the Secret Service blabs to the press.

He didn't want that.

Since that big hunting trip occurred, Trump Jr. has now had his Secret Service detail

reinstated.

I know a lot of people are okay with hunting.

I'm okay with hunting if you're out hunting for actual food and you're gonna use it.

Killing an animal for fun, that's not something I'm ever okay with.

In fact, psychologists will tell you that's one of the traits of a psychopath.

That is pretty much what Donald Trump Jr. is.

He loves to travel around the world and kill big game animals because again makes him feel

like a man for a few seconds, maybe even a few days.

But there is something missing from his life, from his brain, possibly from his own hormone

levels, that is preventing him from being able to feel accomplished, from feeling complete.

He's trying to fill that hole by going out there and killing things larger than him.

There is something psychologically wrong with this man.

I know we've spent a lot of time talking about Trump Sr.'s psychological problems, but I

think it's time we also focused on little Jr. because whatever Trump Sr. is suffering

from, Jr. is suffering from it to an exponential level.

This is not normal behavior.

This is not what a rational thinking son of a president goes out and does.

Basically fires the Secret Service for a few days so he can go out and kill a moose up

in Canada.

Something's wrong here.

If we are beyond past time to get these idiots out of the White House, so we don't have to

deal with crap like this anymore.

You know, I'm getting tired of talking about Trump and his idiotic family and the stupid

things they do and the harm they're inflicting upon America.

It's up to Congress at this point to do something, to act on it, to get these people out of office

so we can work on actually rebuilding this country and start talking about issues that

actually matter.

Instead of having to waste time talking about psychopath Jr. going out and wanting to hunt

a moose so I can feel like big, strong man for a few minutes.

For more infomation >> Trump Jr. Cancelled Secret Service Protection So He Could Go Kill A Moose - Duration: 4:17.

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Mueller's Witch Hunt Finds Nothing on Trump, But Look Which Obama Truth Surfaced | Top Stories Today - Duration: 3:03.

Though special counsel Robert Mueller has thus far uncovered zero evidence that President

Donald Trump colluded with the Russians to affect the outcome of the 2016 presidential

election, a far more shocking revelation regarding former President Barack Obama has made its

way to the surface.

"US investigators wiretapped former Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort under secret

court orders before and after the election, sources tell CNN, an extraordinary step involving

a high-ranking campaign official now at the center of the Russia meddling probe," CNN

revealed in a bombshell scoop last week.

Obama administration investigators also reportedly wiretapped Trump advisers Carter Page, Michael

Flynn and others.

While it remains unclear how this information was unearthed, CNN's sources claim Mueller's

team "has been provided details of these communications."

But the more pressing point are the implications of this discovery.

"If these reports are accurate, it means U.S. intelligence agencies secretly surveilled

at least a half dozen Trump associates," veteran journalist Sharyl Attkisson explained

in a column for The Hill.

"And those are just the ones we know about."

In other words, "(i)t looks like Obama did spy on Trump, just as he apparently did to

me," she added, referencing an allegation she made several years back that Obama's

Justice Department had attempted to hack into her personal and work computers in 2013.

What remains unknown is whether any of this sketchy behavior was actually legal.

Attkisson noted, however, that even if these hacks and wiretaps were legal, that doesn't

take away from the shadiness of it all.

The truth is, the revelation shows Obama and his administration were actively engaged in

surveillance of American citizens that would have been unthinkable not all that long ago.

As Attkisson writes: "It seems that government monitoring of journalists, members of Congress

and political enemies — under multiple administrations — has become more common than anyone would

have imagined two decades ago … So has the unmasking of sensitive and highly protected

names by political officials."

Agreed.

From targeting conservative organizations via the IRS to trying to force the Little

Sisters of the Poor to pay for abortifacients, the Obama administration waged a relentless

assault on the American people's constitutionally guaranteed rights and liberties.

Will Mueller look into this new information and act accordingly, though?

Considering his decision to line his team with leftists, I think the answer is likely

a resounding "no."

Please share this news on Facebook and Twitter and let us know what you think about these

revelations about the Obama administration.

What do you think about Obama's attacks on the American people's rights and liberties?

Scroll down to comment below and don't forget to subscribe top stories today.

For more infomation >> Mueller's Witch Hunt Finds Nothing on Trump, But Look Which Obama Truth Surfaced | Top Stories Today - Duration: 3:03.

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Lin-Manuel Miranda a Trump: Ud. va "derecho al infierno" - Duration: 0:39.

For more infomation >> Lin-Manuel Miranda a Trump: Ud. va "derecho al infierno" - Duration: 0:39.

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Weekend Update on Hurricane Maria - SNL - Duration: 9:16.

<b>>> Announcer: IT'S "WEEKEND </b>

<b>UPDATE," WITH COLIN JOST, AND </b>

<b>MICHAEL CHE.</b>

<b>[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]</b>

<b>>> THANK YOU, GOOD EVENING, </b>

<b>EVERYONE.</b>

<b>>> WELCOME TO "WEEKEND UPDATE" </b>

<b>I'M MICHAEL CHE.</b>

<b>>> AND I'M COLIN JOST.</b>

<b>Well after President</b>

<b>Trump was criticized for a</b>

<b>terrible response to Hurricane</b>

<b>Maria.</b>

<b>This morning he finally gave</b>

<b>the people of Puerto Rico what</b>

<b>they needed most.</b>

<b>A bunch of tweets straight up</b>

<b>calling them lazy.</b>

<b>>>> TRUMP SAYS THE PEOPLE OF </b>

<b>PUERTO RICO, QUOTE, WANT </b>

<b>EVERYTHING TO BE DONE FOR THEM".</b>

<b>THEN HE TOLD HIS CADDY TO REPAIR</b>

<b>HIS DIFFICULTY AND DRIVE HIM TO </b>

<b>THE NEXT HOLE.</b>

<b>TRUMP ALWAYS SAID HE WAS GOING </b>

<b>TO GET THINGS DONE FASTER THAN </b>

<b>ANY OTHER PRESIDENT.</b>

<b>NOW I BELIEVE HIM.</b>

<b>IT TOOK GEORGE W. BUSH TO GET </b>

<b>HIS KATRINA.</b>

<b>MEANWHILE, RAPPER PITBULL HAS </b>

<b>LOANED OUT HIS PRIVATE JET TO </b>

<b>HELP RESCUE PEOPLE IN PUERTO </b>

<b>RICO.</b>

<b>WOW, IF ONLY DONALD TRUMP KNEW </b>

<b>SOMEONE WITH A PRIVATE JET.</b>

<b>[ LAUGHTER ]</b>

<b>HOW IS THE PRESIDENT OF THE </b>

<b>UNITED STATES WORSE AT </b>

<b>HUMANITARIAN AID THAN PITBULL.</b>

<b>AND YOU KNOW PITBULL IS DOING IT</b>

<b>WHILE ALSO FEATURING ON FOUR </b>

<b>DIFFERENT TRACKS AND HOSTING </b>

<b>FOAM PARTIES FOR BUD LIGHT.</b>

<b>TRUMP IS BUSY DOING THE REAL </b>

<b>WORK, MAKING EXCUSES WHILE HALF </b>

<b>EXPLAINING WHAT AN ISLAND IS.</b>

<b>JUST WATCH.</b>

<b>>> THIS IS AN ISLAND, SURROUNDED</b>

<b>BY WATER, BIG WATER, OCEAN </b>

<b>WATER.</b>

<b>>> WATER YOU TALKING ABOUT, MAN?</b>

<b>THIS ISN'T A TREACHEROUS </b>

<b>JOURNEY.</b>

<b>IT'S PUERTO RICO.</b>

<b>NOT SKULL ISLAND.</b>

<b>CRUISE SHIPS FULL OF RETIRED </b>

<b>AUNTS GO THERE EVERY DAY.</b>

<b>I THINK TRUMP IS WORKING OF ONE </b>

<b>OF THOSE OLD SAILOR MAPS WITH </b>

<b>SEA MONSTERS ON IT.</b>

<b>>> AFTER THE MAYOR OF SAN JUAN </b>

<b>CRITICIZED THE GOVERNMENT'S </b>

<b>PUERTO RICAN RELIEF EFFORTS </b>

<b>PRESIDENT TRUMP ATTACKED HER ON </b>

<b>TWITTER SAYING, "THE MAYOR OF </b>

<b>SAN JUAN WHO WAS VERY </b>

<b>COMPLIMENTARY ONLY A FEW DAYS </b>

<b>AGO.</b>

<b>HAS NOW BEEN TOLD BY THE </b>

<b>DEMOCRATS THAT YOU MUST BE NASTY</b>

<b>TO TRUMP."</b>

<b>OH, REALLY, DONALD?</b>

<b>YOU BITCH.</b>

<b>WAS SHE NASTY TO YOU?</b>

<b>HOW NASTY?</b>

<b>ARE YOU SHAKING?</b>

<b>DO YOU WANT TO SMOKE A VIRGINIA </b>

<b>SLIM UNTIL YOUR HAND STOPS </b>

<b>MOVING?</b>

<b>THIS ISN'T A COMPLICATED ISSUE, </b>

<b>MAN, IT'S HURRICANE RELIEF.</b>

<b>YOU JUST DID THIS VERY SAME </b>

<b>THING FOR WHITE PEOPLE, TWICE.</b>

<b>SO, TELL MELANIA TO PUT ON HER </b>

<b>FLOOD HEELS.</b>

<b>GET YOU SOME BOTTLED WATER, SOME</b>

<b>FOOD, SOME ATLANTA FALCONS SUPER</b>

<b>BOWL T-SHIRTS, WRITE A CHECK AND</b>

<b>-- WITH OUR MONEY, YOU CHEAP </b>

<b>CRACKER.</b>

<b>IN ONE MONTH YOU HAVE MISHANDLED</b>

<b>PUERTO RICO, DACA, THE NFL.</b>

<b>IT'S LIKE WHEN ANYBODY DARKER </b>

<b>THAN YOUR GOLF PANTS HAS A </b>

<b>PROBLEM YOU ARE THINKING HOW CAN</b>

<b>I MAKE THIS WORSE.</b>

<b>HEALTH AND SERVICES SECRETARY </b>

<b>TOM PRICE WAS CAUGHT USING </b>

<b>ALMOST A MILLION DOLLARS IN </b>

<b>TAXPAYER MONEY TO FRIDAY ON </b>

<b>PRIVATE JETS.</b>

<b>THAT'S COOL YOU RESIGNED, BUT </b>

<b>HOW ABOUT YOU PAY BACK THE </b>

<b>MONEY?</b>

<b>YOU CAN'T WALK INTO A STORE AND </b>

<b>DO A MILLION DOLLARS WORTH OF </b>

<b>DAMAGE AND THEN BE LIKE I GET </b>

<b>IT, I'LL LEAVE.</b>

<b>MAN, WE WANT YOU TO PAY.</b>

<b>YOU CAN MAKE THAT MILLION BACK </b>

<b>WHEN YOU PUBLISH YOUR MEMOIR, </b>

<b>ALL THE PLACES YOU'LL GO ON A </b>

<b>GOVERNMENT FUNDED PRIVATE JET.</b>

<b>>>> THIS WEEK PRESIDENT TRUMP </b>

<b>CONTINUED HIS CRITICISM OF NFL </b>

<b>PLAYERS WHO TOOK A KNEE DURING </b>

<b>THE NATIONAL ANTHEM.</b>

<b>HE FIGURED CNN MSNBC ALREADY </b>

<b>HATE ME, HOW CAN I GET ESPN TO </b>

<b>HAID MADE ME, TOO.</b>

<b>BECAUSE TRUMP NEEDS EVERY </b>

<b>NETWORK TALKING ABOUT HIM, NEXT </b>

<b>HE IS GOING TO TWEET AT </b>

<b>NICKELODEON THAT THEY NEED TO </b>

<b>SHOW US DORA'S PAPERS.</b>

<b>>> THE COMMISSIONER OF THE NBA </b>

<b>SAID THAT HE EXPECTED PLAYERS TO</b>

<b>FOLLOW LEAGUE RULES AND STAND </b>

<b>DURING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM.</b>

<b>THE NBA IS WHAT, 130, 140% </b>

<b>BLACK?</b>

<b>WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU GOING TO DO</b>

<b>IF THEY ALL DECIDE TO KNEEL?</b>

<b>HAVE THE NEW YORK PORZINGIS PLAY</b>

<b>THE SAN ANTONIO GINOBILI?</b>

<b>AND, HOW DID THIS GUY GET TO BE </b>

<b>THE COMMISSIONER OF THE NBA </b>

<b>ANYWAY?</b>

<b>HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY PUT A </b>

<b>SUIT ON A SEX TOY.</b>

<b>IT'S HARD TO ASK BLACK PLAYERS </b>

<b>TO RESPECT THE FLAG WHEN THEY </b>

<b>KNOW THIS COUNTRY CARES MORE </b>

<b>ABOUT IT THAN US.</b>

<b>OKAY?</b>

<b>WE LOVE THE FLAG, IT'S JUST THAT</b>

<b>WHITE GUYS REALLY LOVE THE FLAG.</b>

<b>I MEAN, IT'S ONE THING TO LIKE </b>

<b>I BET IF YOU ASK A BLACK PERSON,</b>

<b>DO YOU LOVE AMERICA?</b>

<b>HE'S LIKE, WHOA I LOVE BROOKLYN,</b>

<b>I AM RESERVING JUDGMENT ON THE </b>

<b>DAKOTAS.</b>

<b>>> ANGELA MERKEL WAS REELECTED </b>

<b>AS CHANCELLOR OF GERMANY FOR A </b>

<b>FOURTH TERM AND IS NOW THE </b>

<b>LONGEST SERVING LEADER IN </b>

<b>EUROPE.</b>

<b>HERE TO COMMENT IS GERMAN </b>

<b>CHANCELLOR ANGELA MERKEL.</b>

<b>[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]</b>

<b>>> OH, YEAH, I AM THE WINNER, </b>

<b>YAY!</b>

<b>YAY!</b>

<b>>> WAIT, WAIT, ARE YOU HAPPY </b>

<b>THAT YOU WON?</b>

<b>>> YES.</b>

<b>OF COURSE I'M HAPPY.</b>

<b>IS THAT NOT COMING ACROSS?</b>

<b>I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON MY SMILE.</b>

<b>YAY!</b>

<b>>> IT LOOKS A LITTLE TORTURED.</b>

<b>>> OKAY.</b>

<b>WELL, TO BE HONEST, COLIN PART </b>

<b>OF ME WAS HOPING TO RETIRE EVEN </b>

<b>THOUGH THE AVERAGE RETIREMENT </b>

<b>AGE IN GERMANY IS 87, AT WHICH </b>

<b>POINT YOU TRANSITION INTO MANUAL</b>

<b>LABOR.</b>

<b>ALSO, MY VICTORY WAS BITTER </b>

<b>SWEET BECAUSE THE FAR, FAR RIGHT</b>

<b>PARTY WON SEATS IN OUR </b>

<b>PARLIAMENT FOR THE FIRST TIME </b>

<b>SINCE THE -- YOU KNOW.</b>

<b>>> WHAT WAS THAT?</b>

<b>>> YOU KNOW, THE --</b>

<b>>> THE NAZIS.</b>

<b>GOT YOU, YEAH.</b>

<b>YEAH, I GOT TO SAY YOU SEEM </b>

<b>STRESSED OUT CHANCELLOR.</b>

<b>>> OH, THANK YOU.</b>

<b>>> NO, I MEAN I'M WORRIED ABOUT </b>

<b>YOU, I'M WORRIED THAT YOU ARE </b>

<b>DEALING WITH A LOT.</b>

<b>>> YEAH, TELL ME ABOUT IT.</b>

<b>IT'S LIKE EVERYONE IN EUROPE IS </b>

<b>HAVING A ROWDY SLUMBER PARTY AND</b>

<b>I'M THE MEAN MOM WHO HAS TO SEND</b>

<b>THEM TO BED WITHOUT THEIR </b>

<b>RADISHES.</b>

<b>>> DO YOU HAVE ANY ALLIES LEFT </b>

<b>>> NO ALLIES.</b>

<b>MOSTLY ACTORS THESE DAYS.</b>

<b>EXCEPT OH, FOR THAT FRENCH HUNK </b>

<b>MACRON, OOH-LA-LA.</b>

<b>GET ME SOME DIAPHRAGMS.</b>

<b>I THINK OF THIS GUY I'M LIKE, </b>

<b>OBAMA WHO?</b>

<b>BARACK IS IT WORKING?</b>

<b>AM I MAKING YOU JEALOUS?</b>

<b>LEAVE MICHELE.</b>

<b>>> OH NO, YOU'RE STILL THAT HUNG</b>

<b>UP ON OBAMA, HUH?</b>

<b>>> I KNOW I MUST ACCEPT THAT </b>

<b>IT'S OVER AND MOVE ON.</b>

<b>SO, I DECIDED TO GET RID OF </b>

<b>EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE THAT </b>

<b>REMINDS ME OF HIM.</b>

<b>THIS LOVE LETTER I WROTE HIM BUT</b>

<b>NEVER SENT.</b>

<b>TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN, I </b>

<b>RESPECT YOU, TEPID REGARDS, </b>

<b>MERKEL.</b>

<b>A MIX CD I MADE YOU BUT WAS TOO </b>

<b>SHY TO GIVE.</b>

<b>IT'S A MIX OF ALL THE SONGS BY </b>

<b>CREED.</b>

<b>A PICTURE OF US AT THE G20 </b>

<b>SUMMIT.</b>

<b>I WAS COLD AND YOU LET ME BORROW</b>

<b>YOUR JACKET.</b>

<b>TURNS OUT WE WERE WEARING THE </b>

<b>SAME SUIT.</b>

<b>I HAD TO STOP FOLLOWING HIM ON </b>

<b>SOCIAL MEDIA SO I WOULDN'T BE </b>

<b>TEMPTED THE SLIDE INTO HIS DMs.</b>

<b>ONE NIGHT I HAD ONE TOO MANY </b>

<b>SHOTS, ONE.</b>

<b>AND I SENT HIM A PICTURE OF MY </b>

<b>BARE KNEE.</b>

<b>HE WROTE BACK, IS THAT A PEELED </b>

<b>POTATO?</b>

<b>[ LAUGHTER ]</b>

<b>>> WOW.</b>

<b>IT REALLY MUST BE HARD TO GO </b>

<b>FROM OBAMA TO TRUMP.</b>

<b>AND I ALSO HEARD THAT TRUMP </b>

<b>WAITED FOUR DAYS BEFORE HE </b>

<b>CALLED YOU TO SAY CONGRATS.</b>

<b>>> FOUR DAYS.</b>

<b>FOUR DAYS, HE WAITS.</b>

<b>WHICH IN GERMANY IS LIKE </b>

<b>20 BUSINESS DAYS.</b>

<b>FINALLY I SENT HIM A TINY </b>

<b>E-MAIL, I WAS LIKE ARE YOU GOING</b>

<b>SAY ANYTHING?</b>

<b>AND HE WAS LIKE OH, SORRY, JUST </b>

<b>SAW THIS, DIDN'T HAVE MY PHONE.</b>

<b>AND I WAS LIKE, THAT FEELING </b>

<b>WHEN HE DOESN'T TEXT YOU BACK, </b>

<b>BUT YOU SEE HIM TWEETING.</b>

<b>>> I THINK YOU NEED TO TAKE SOME</b>

<b>TIME AFTER YOUR VICTORY TO </b>

<b>RELAX.</b>

<b>HALLOWEEN IS RIGHT AROUND THE </b>

<b>CORNER.</b>

<b>>>> ALREADY KNOW WHAT MY SFOOUM </b>

<b>WILL BE.</b>

<b>I WILL BE GOING A SLUTTY ANGELA </b>

<b>MERKEL.</b>

<b>THAT'S ME, BUT WITH A HAT.</b>