it's Saturday night which means it's time to take it all right if you paid
attention to the media you were convinced it was once again
the end of the frickin world kind of like this murdering the children of
Americans say you know what's hard when the presently united sanctuary city to
beat the hell out of him now you know I'd say that's worse than the view but
it is the view let me break it to you America stuff is good jobs economy if
Trump is in anyone's pockets it's yours and he's dumping wads of cash in it
we're powerful we're prosperous were peaceful we're happy at least happier
than we were under Obama that's from a poll I believe polls according to that
same poll this is great this is great most people know that the media's nuts
fewer than 1% think Russia is a big deal the media is completely preoccupied by
something less than 1% care about how disconnected can you be in terms of
significance to most Americans Russia's tied with my third nipple
it's an adorable one but I get it it's hard to tell what matters with our
media everyday their hair is on fire and I include this chap who has none so many
cartoon Cronkite's what we all saw and heard in Helsinki today is really
frightening an absolutely shameful display by an American president with
the whole world watching as you see behind me there's a little bit of a
gloom now it's set in right after the world witnessed the betrayal the likes
of which we've never seen America's president sided with its enemy
today shock has turned to a national shunning as America finds unity and
president Trump's perfidy perfidy somebody found out the Souris oh hey
they make Chicken Little a comatose now Trump is invited get this has tried
bided Putin to America the media screams but I love it you know the media says
please please please don't do X and Trump says here's x-squared
he knows you can't win with the media who can't see what's obvious to the rest
of us we know the real world looks nothing like what they see
here's MSNBC's coverage of Trump's last press conference
the reality your life's actually getting better yet the media's mentality keeps
getting worse why is that it's because in their heads they're watching
something totally different the media sees the news as a scripted event and
they're furious Trump won't read from their script he reads from his own so
while the media panics over Trump's refusal to play the lead in their movie
he stars in his own building up the military demanding NATO pay for their
defense toying with Putin's pipeline army Ukraine
it's like sergeant Rock versus the Three Stooges but if Trump is Putin's stooge
he's doing a total Curly to their mo do they really think deal-making is how you
destroy America reminds me of a movie in 1962 the world met the Manchurian
Candidate he was an American prisoner of war brainwashed by communists into being
an unwitting assassin against his own country now comes the long-awaited
sequel they haven't ever had to reckon with the possibility that somebody has
ascended to the presidency of the United States to serve the interests of another
country rather than our own he was a real estate mogul turned reality show
host but then a foreign made him their sleeper agent it was a
shocking display of surrender unlike anything we've seen from an American
president but what the enemy didn't know was that when he finally rose to the top
he do unspeakable things like cutting taxes lowering the unemployment rate
demanding NATO allies pay their fair share growing the economy and
neutralizing nuclear threats nude man on a unicorn surfing on a breadstick
teaching another unicorn how to surf on a breadstick films presents Vladimir
Putin Chris Matthews and Donald Trump as the worst Manchurian Candidate ever
Comanche Rhian candidate to the worst Manchurian Candidate ever
so obvious it's so obvious for Trump a Russia deal is just a deal like buying
the car except it's peace and prosperity watch any good salesmen and you'll see
somebody ignoring all the negatives and zeroing in on the close the past is the
past until after the handshake which is why
Trump doesn't get all the outrage over this he's like every husband who says
the wrong thing and doesn't know why he's suddenly ducking a potted plant
it's true after all dialogue is a very important thing and it's a very good
thing dialogue is a very important thing and
it's a very good thing how easy is that to follow
he knows being polite to a thug it's a small price to pay to neutralize a few
nuclear threats I'll give you a pat on the back in public Vlad if you give a
Syria Iran North Korea and fix your damn alphabets I mean what the hell is this I
don't know in reality Putin is just another mob
boss you got a Greece to get that new casino off the ground so in the press
fantasy anytime Trump is polite to anyone that's proof of conspiracy in
reality though is having conversations with Putin or Kim the same as colluding
no wonder collusions in the air it's made out of nothing no you avoid
conflict through conversation sorry you can't just ignore Russia like it's Jim
Acosta at a press conference yet so many progressives hate progress
ironically Trump may do more for the cause of peace than any left limping
president ever could because he's dealing from a position of strength
what a surprise a 73 year old billionaire who dealt with thugs his
whole life is succeeding where a grad student who writes bad poetry couldn't
how is that he got the stick and the carrot in the right order you build up
the military that's the stick then comes the carrot liberals do the opposite they
declare sticks a threat to the environment then they bury our enemies
in carrots but Trump dealing with Putin in Trump's pocket is a big stick and
he's not just happy to see him
let's welcome tonight's guests if he ever becomes a porn star he won't have
to change his name former CIA officer and radio TV host buck Sexton practicing
her name I'm practicing her name she's our business reporter from north of the
border the best Canadian import since Molson beer Fox Business Network
reporter Christina parts anabella's yeah what's it about
she's so bright the Sun seeks shade from her natural review reporter cat Tim I
could say her name just like the Vatican he's famous for his mass that's a great
one WWE Superstar massive side kisses kick
oh fuck I love this week I love this week it was hilarious everyday I was
laughing it was the Super Bowl of snowflake ism it was like nothing I've
ever seen in my life you've never seen so much pearl clutching in fact wherever
you set the boundaries of what's too crazy for mainstream media publications
to say you're like okay look press conference wasn't amazing you know this
isn't the Second Coming of matter Nick like I can understand why some people
might have some issues here right but it's not as bad as Pearl Harbor somebody
even compared it to crystal nine I'm like is this just because you don't want
to do the usual Hitlerian things you decided to get specific people
completely lost their minds and now we're at the end of the week and then we
know people don't care about it because we got avenatti back on TV yeah so this
is the loop this is the screw it's true now it's back to porn stars and sex the
way I like it ladies and gentlemen all right Christina
you cover money and business and you do it well at Fox Business the beat economy
seems immune to any of this stuff and Americans seem immune it's true it's
true we just hit the lowest unemployment rate that we've seen since 1969 I needed
appreciate that date and then we're also well since you've talked about your
third nipple already
but more importantly yes is doing well we had a bunch of earnings that came out
this week very very strong however because I cover business news my only
color is green we have to be concerned about the trade tariffs I agree and
inflation comes to and lack of wage growth
I'm worried factors that can weigh heavily on the economy I'm worried and
if that stuff happens and goes south he's going to be in a bit of a trouble
because he's taking credit for this big boom right now and if it goes south he's
gonna get hit by the media cat what do you say about the second summit aren't
you excited Putin's gonna come here maybe I'll go to Mira Lago maybe we
could throw him a military parade I know that there's going to be a lot of
outrage even if it goes well it doesn't really matter because we saw with this
press conference this this week we saw Trump saying the exact same things as
he's been saying since he was a candidate saying he wanted to get along
with Putin you may like it you may not like it but it's not new and yet
everybody reacted as if it was some sort of crazy new thing it wasn't some crazy
new thing it was exactly what he's been saying it's almost as if people aren't
actually paying attention to the news and just when they see other people get
mad they get mad too because they want to all be in a nice little mad Club
where they all just breathe on each other really heavily I agree it's all
about being mad tires anything bothering you about this oh yeah I'm pissed I'll
tell you why it never should have happened yeah and it has nothing to do
with anything you think he made him wait an hour
Putin made him wait I would have left my girl in the house if she made me wait 15
minutes this is the United States of America Jack we wait for no one when he
got there should have been a little intern named where I going I'm sorry you
missed the president mr. Putin maybe next time like yeah that's the only I
was mad about we don't wait we don't wait you out your mind but whatever okay
I'll let that pass the press conference to me I always look at things through my
life yeah half and I've been out at a
restaurant with lots of friends mm-hmm and maybe you're having some issues at
home yeah and the press is the angry girlfriend
yes who decides to bring up something personal
trying to entertain friends and you have that awkward why would you bring that up
here I'm with my friends what the hell and that's basically what happened with
Donald Trump in the presence I ask the questions you see another going so
you're gonna bring up my bastard child right now church meeting like this is
the place we need to bring this up like I'm sorry Reverend
just give me saying why do you do this wherever we go out this wild take you
know where it's love child yeah child so but it's true it's like he
is saying I'm trying to deal with this guy we can talk about that stuff later
voice pretty good what I'm sorry no that wasn't imitating you Christina because
there was no air from the Canadian side and I don't drink Molson what do you
drink garbage what it is garbage there are sponsors I don't know I'm excited
I'm excited I'm excited for the next summit I can't wait I hope I get to go
you
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