General Motors.
It's not just the least popular Transformers character,
it's also one of America's biggest car manufacturers.
But now, they're in the news
for what cars they're not gonna be making.
Thousands of General Motors workers
will have little reason to celebrate this holiday season.
TV REPORTER: Facing slumping sales, General Motors
will stop making six underperforming sedans
by the end of next year, idling plants in Ohio,
Michigan, Maryland, and Ontario, Canada.
TV REPORTER: Six passenger cars reaching the end of the road:
the Cadillac XTS and CT6, the Buick LaCrosse,
and Chevy's Impala, Cruze, and hybrid Volt.
General Motors chose its words very carefully,
not saying that they were closing the Lordstown plant,
but rather, they weren't allocating
a product to the plant after March.
Oh, thank God.
I thought they were shutting down the plants,
but I guess they're just not
"allocating products" there anymore.
I wish I could use that language when I breakup with someone.
"Look, I'm-I'm not ending the relationship.
"I'm just not allocating any love for you after March.
Yeah, basically, I'm relocating my penis to other locations."
But that's right.
GM is killing off six of their cars,
like the Chevy Volt, yeah.
The electric car that tells everyone
"The line at the Tesla store was too long,
so I just said (bleep) it."
Or the Chevy Impala, which looks like a sports car made love
to a station wagon and neither of them were satisfied.
And of course, the Cadillac XTS, it's as close as you can get
to riding in a hearse without being dead.
Look at that thing.
But, honestly, the one car, the one car that I'll be glad
to never see again is the Chevy Cruze,
because every time I go to rent a car,
I somehow always end up with a Chevy Cruze.
And you know what they do is they trick you, right?
'Cause what they say is "BMW or similar."
And then when I get there, they give me a Chevy Cruze.
I'm like, "How's the BMW, BMW similar to a Chevy Cruze?"
They go, "Oh, it's got four wheels, you can sit in it."
This is bullshit.
I hate that car.
I feel like one day I'm gonna rent a house on Airbnb
and they're gonna give me a Chevy Cruze.
And I'll be like, "What the hell? Where's my house?"
And they'll say, like, "Well, we said 'beach house or similar.'
That's what we said."
So GM says because nobody was buying it,
they're gonna stop making the Chevy Cruze.
And honestly, I get it.
People don't want to drive a car
that shares a name with Ted Cruz.
It's as simple as that.
Yeah. It's the same reason nobody bought
the Ford Gaddafi, right?
No one wanted that car.
That car even looks like a Gaddafi.
Look at that car.
It sounds like a Gaddafi, too.
I bet when you start it, it's like,
(shouting gibberish)
And now, look, as much fun as it is to roast GM and its cars,
the sad truth is--
and although you want to go after the company--
because they're shutting down so much production,
they're also shutting down a lot of human's jobs.
TV REPORTER: GM cutting nearly 15,000 factory
and white collar jobs.
From GM's workers, the reaction was swift and distraught.
There's people in there bawling their eyes out.
I've never seen anything like it.
I felt like somebody kicked me in the stomach.
The bad thing is to get this news
on the day after we come back for Thanksgiving.
So being with our family and our friends
and they they got to come back to work
or wake up in the morning and hear of this news,
it's not easy for everybody.
Right. Real people who have lost their jobs.
People who are crying, people who are angry.
And I mean, that last guy really tells the story.
It's Thanksgiving, and the next thing you know,
you don't have a job.
And I mean, it was a little bit weird,
because he made it sound like he wasn't just angry
about being fired, he also was mad
that he had to wake up early to get fired, which I agree with.
He was like, "Y'all couldn't tell me I was fired last night?
I could have slept in. Shit."
And now, now, people are pissed off for two reasons.
Right, one, like all big corporations,
GM just got a huge tax cut.
But they didn't use that money to protect these jobs.
No. They mostly used it to prop up the price
of their own stock through buybacks.
And, like, we can't really be surprised
that a business would do that, right?
Businesses always try to maximize their profits.
That's what a business does.
Like, if a business isn't making money,
it's either a charity or Trump is running it.
That's how it works.
And speaking of Trump, and speaking of Trump,
those thousands of GM workers
are particularly pissed off at him
because he specifically promised that if people voted for him,
he'd make sure that GM added jobs.
General Motors announced
that they're adding or keeping 900 jobs
right here in Michigan.
And that's just the beginning, folks.
In fact, I told them that's peanuts.
That's peanuts.
You're gonna see General Motors, they're coming back.
Lot of companies are coming back.
It's a good feeling. It's a really good feeling.
Let me tell you folks in Ohio and this area,
don't sell your house. Don't sell your house.
We're gonna fill up those factories
or rip them down and build brand-new ones,
so it's gonna happen.
That did not happen the way he promised it.
You know what the president should have done?
He should have said,
"We're gonna give you new factories or similar."
That's what he should have said.
So, it turns out America's top used car salesman
clearly sold GM workers a lemon.
And if you think about it,
Trump's promises are a lot like the Chevy Cruze:
you can sell them as hard as you want,
but at the end of the day, no one's buying it.
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