If you were anywhere, uh, on the East Coast
during Thanksgiving, you would know that it got so damn cold.
Like, it was freezing. It was so cold
that your turkey refused to come out of the oven.
You're like, "It's time." Turkey was like,
"Ten more minutes, ten more minutes, ten more minutes."
And because of that, some of you might have been thinking,
"Whatever happened to global warming?"
Well, on Friday, the U.S. government told us.
A new government report says manmade climate change
is already wreaking havoc on the U.S.
13 federal agencies warn of more destructive western wildfires,
longer heat waves in the southeast
and more powerful Atlantic hurricanes.
It says climate change could shrink the U.S. economy
by hundreds of billions of dollars
by the end of the century.
I love how America always thinks
about everything in economic terms.
Like, even when they talk about the end of the world,
they say, "Climate change is gonna kill everybody,
and that's gonna cost us, like, a billion dollars."
(laughter)
But this is big news. 13 agencies,
all part of the Trump administration,
have released an official report saying
that manmade climate change is not only real,
but its effects are already here. Yeah, already here.
It's like in the movies when someone screams,
"Close the door! We're all gonna die!"
And then, the friend turns, and they're bleeding,
and they're like, "We're already dead."
And he's like, "No. You're already dead. I'm out."
So, if the Trump administration said
that manmade climate change is happening, then surely,
the Trump of the administration will finally come on board.
But this is what the president said
when asked what he thinks of the report.
I've seen it, uh, I've read some of it, and it's fine.
Yeah. I don't believe it.
-MAN: You don't believe it? -No. No, I don't believe it.
You don't believe it?
You don't...? How?
"Fine"? How?
How can one man possess all the stupidity of mankind?
(laughter)
It's like they edited his genes
to give him superhuman stupidity.
Like, the scientists in the lab were like,
"Well, should we give him superhuman strength?"
They're like, "Oh, that's dangerous to society.
"No, no, no, no, no. Let's make him really stupid.
What's the worst that could happen?"
The president of the United States is throwing away
four years of scientific work
which is endorsed by his own administration.
The question is, what possible reason
would thousands of scientists have
to lie about climate change?
Well, former senator Rick Santorum has a theory
which he shared on CNN this weekend.
If there was no climate change,
we'd have a lot of scientists looking for work.
Uh, the reality is that...
that a lot of these scientists are driven
by the money that they receive.
And of course, they don't receive money from corporations
and Exxon and the like. Why?
Because they're not allowed to, because it's tainted.
But they can receive it from people who have...
who support their agenda.
Of course. How did we miss it?
Climate change is just a scam!
It's a scam by scientists trying to get rich.
We should have known when we saw them balling
in those Gucci lab coats with the diamond-encrusted beakers.
Making it rain test tubes in the club.
Ow-ow-ow, ow-ow-ow, ow-ow.
Oh, and it wasn't just Rick Santorum.
After this report came out, right,
American news was littered with climate change buffoons.
And one of my favorites was this woman NBC brought on
to drop this gem.
We need to also recognize
that we just had two of the coldest years,
the biggest drop in global temperatures
that we've had since the 1980s,
the biggest in the last hundred years.
From the standpoint of those who have doubts about this...
And I-I don't think we can have any doubts
that there is climate change.
Whether it's anthropogenic, I don't know.
I'm not a scientist. I-I look at this as a citizen.
Uh, okay, once you say "I'm not a scientist,"
why is anyone listening to your scientific opinion?
"I look at this as a citizen."
Well, get the (bleep) out of here
with your opinions as a citizen.
Like, where else would we accept this shit?
You tell me now. Where else would we accept this?
If someone told me, "Hey, Trevor, these test results say
"that you have cancer, but I'm not a doctor.
I think you're fine," trust me, I would not be like,
"Oh, you're not a doctor? No, no. Carry on, Carry on.
Yeah, tell me your thoughts on my health."
And here's the thing. I can play clips
from the news like this forever. But why?
Why can I play clips like this forever?
Why does the news keep bringing on non-scientists
to argue against science?
I mean, CNN pays Rick Santorum to come on and talk that shit.
This woman's group has gotten funding from oil companies.
So why is the news having these climate-deniers on?
Like, why would you do that?
Because think of it. Think of it this way.
When Maury Povich brings someone on,
if the DNA test says you are the father, then that's it.
The science has spoken.
He doesn't go, "All right, we've done the DNA test,
but in your opinion, Lavar, why are you not the father?"
Because he knows dudes would be like,
"Well, first of all, 'cause it's expensive,
"and second of all, look at that baby's hair!
That's ain't my shit."
So all I'm saying is, American news,
maybe you should respect science as much as Maury Povich does.
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