We've gone from a simple question
about Niger, to a three-day media (bleep) storm
about whether Trump calls families
and what he says when he calls these families.
Because by the sounds of it, the families may start out
hoping that the president would reach out,
and they end up wishing
that they had let his calls go to voice mail.
That new controversy
facing President Trump-- he's taking heat
for an alleged insensitive remark he made
to the widow of a slain Army sergeant...
NEWSMAN: Details of the conversation
come from a Democratic congresswoman
who overheard the call...
I didn't hear the whole phone call,
but I did hear him say, "I'm sure he knew
what he was signing up for."
The comments were certainly, I think,
taken very far out of context by the media,
and if there's any frustration,
I think that's where it should be focused.
Okay, now, look, now, look... in Trump's defense--
and I know people don't like hearing that phrase--
Donald Trump is the worst at words.
All right? Can we agree on that?
-(cheering) -He is the worst at words.
He was probably trying to convey a heartfelt message,
but instead, the people interpreted it
as him disrespecting the troops.
That's what they said. He was trying something,
and then people are now like, "Donald Trump,
you disrespected the troops."
I bet you wherever Colin Kaepernick is right now,
he's probably like, "Well, ain't that a bitch."
(laughter)
(whooping)
'Cause that's not what he was trying to do.
And I don't know, I don't think we should be surprised
that Trump offended this family.
We've all heard him speak. We're offended every day.
Like, what do you think,
a phone is going to magically transform him
into Sir Phineas the Eloquent?
Like... like, Trump's gonna be talking like,
"All these losers and haters,
bing, bing, bong, bong, bigly...
Hold on, I got to make a call.
(deep voice): Greetings and salutations.
My soul is awash in a great flood of sorrow
as I reflect upon your circumstance.
Fare thee well.
(like normal Trump): Right. Where was I?
Little Rocket Man!
(laughter)
It's not gonna happen.
I mean, clearly...
clearly, Donald Trump sucks at making these calls.
Which is unfortunate-- because I don't know
who at the White House can make these calls, right?
Jared Kushner can't do it,
'cause he's on line one fixing the Middle East.
You don't want Sarah Huckabee Sanders calling,
'cause she'll tell you your son didn't die.
And then 30 other people can't do it
because they've all been fired.
There's nobody who can make the calls.
Okay, maybe Melania. Melania can make the call.
That's who. Although, I don't trust her
to not sneak in her own personal agenda.
Yeah, I wouldn't be shocked if she was like,
"I'm so jealous for the loss of your husband."
(laughter)
(applause, cheering)
And look...
Trump can't be faulted for not being articulate.
But he can be blamed for making an unnecessary problem worse.
Right? Because when people accused him
of being insensitive, he could have just said,
"I apologize. It wasn't my intention to offend anyone."
But instead, he acts like this.
I didn't say what that congresswoman said.
Didn't say it at all. She knows it.
And she now is not saying it.
I did not say what she said.
And, uh, I'd like her to make the statement again,
because I did not say what she said.
I had a very nice conversation with the woman...
with the wife who is... sounded like a lovely woman.
Did not say what the congresswoman said...
(like a child): I didn't say it.
(laughter)
I didn't say it. No!
I didn't say it.
Didn't, no! I didn't say it.
(adult voice): Come on, Donald, Donald,
just say you're sorry, Donald.
(like a child): But I didn't do it!
I want to talk about my tax cuts.
(adult voice): Donald, no, we're not gonna talk about tax cuts
until you apologize.
(like a child): I hate you! You're not my real voters.
(adult voice): You know what, Donald,
we didn't want you, either, okay?
You were an accident.
"There was a hole in the electoral system,
"and we're just trying to make this work, Donald.
Now, go to your room."
So here we are.
At the end of another week, going through another scandal
that didn't need to exist.
Because do you guys even remember
what this press conference was about?
Does anyone remember?
It was Trump coming out with Mitch McConnell
to say everything was going well.
That was the original cause.
That's why they did it.
Can you imagine if you worked in the White House, right?
Like, imagine if you were there before the press conference,
and you were there afterwards,
but you missed the press conference itself.
You would be, like, "What the (bleep) happened?"
Imagine, you'd be, you'd be, like, you'd be waiting there,
and you'd be like, "Okay, so, so this press conference.
What are we doing, guys?"
And it'd be like, Trump and Mitch would be like,
"Oh, we're just going out.
"Mitch and I are just gonna say we're friends.
"Oh, that's it? You're just gonna say your friends?
"Yeah, yeah, that's it. That's it.
"All right, cool. Uh, all right, this sounds easy.
"You know what? I'm gonna go take a dump.
I'll see you guys afterwards, yeah? Yeah?"
And you come back, like, ten minutes later,
and it's just like, "Yo! Quickly!
"We need a list of Gold Star families!
"We're in a fight with a black lady in a cowboy hat,
"and we need to borrow $25,000.
"What the hell happened?
Just do it! Just do it!"
(cheers and applause)
Every press conference.
Every single press conference becomes something else.
Think about it. Every press conference.
Like, the other time. It was, like,
"Okay, what's this press conference about?
"Uh, well, we're just gonna talk about roads and bridges.
"Oh, cool, infrastructure.
"All right, that's boring. That's safe.
"All right, I'm gonna go take a dump.
Ten minutes? Yeah. I'll be back."
And then you come back later and it's just like,
"Yo! Do you know any good Nazis?
"We need to find some good Nazis, please.
"Why are we talking about Nazis? What about the roads?
"Nigga, forget the roads!
"We need to find good Nazis!
That (bleep) went off a cliff!"
(cheering and applause)
Must be insane.
Look, this problem isn't getting any better.
So basically, if you're working for Trump,
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