Trump news on Youtube Oct 1 2017

Saturday Night Live came back strong with another hilarious Donald Trump impression.

The opening sketch showed Baldwin's Trump confused that Puerto Rico is a United States

territory.

Trump, decked out in golfing attire, takes a call from Mayor Carmen Yulin Cruz of San

Juan, Puerto Rico. When the mayor asked for help after the devastation of Hurricane Maria,

he responds, "It's a big ocean, water, with fishies and bubbles and turtles that

bite. We want to help you, but we have to take care of America first."

"You do know we're a U.S. territory, don't you?," Cruz said. Consumed with shock, Baldwin's

Trump retorted, "I mean, I do, but not many people know that, no."

This was poking fun at President Trump's speech on tax reform earlier this week. In

the speech he defended the White House response to Hurricane Maria by literally saying, "This

is an island surrounded by water, big water, ocean water." The show later called out

this moment again during "Weekend Update."

The SNL sketch showed Aidy Bryant as Sarah Huckabee Sanders, joking about how many other

administration employees she has outlasted. Kate McKinnon appeared as Jeff Session and

Alex Moffatt as Chuck Schumer, who was said to be working on a "secret deal" with

Trump.

The rest of the episode featured Ryan Gosling and guest Emma Stone promoting their hit film

"La La Land" by joking about who really saved jazz in the monologue.

What did you think of Baldwin's Trump responding to Puerto Rico? Let me know in the comments

below and don't forget to subscribe.

For more infomation >> SNL Trump's Puerto Rico, Season Premiere 2017, Baldwin: "We have to take care of America first." - Duration: 2:36.

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A bad week for Trump ends with Tom Price's resignation 9/29/17 - Duration: 6:49.

For more infomation >> A bad week for Trump ends with Tom Price's resignation 9/29/17 - Duration: 6:49.

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Puerto Ricans fire back at Trump for critical tweets - Duration: 5:29.

For more infomation >> Puerto Ricans fire back at Trump for critical tweets - Duration: 5:29.

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San Juan mayor responds to Trump attacks MSNBC - Duration: 7:16.

For more infomation >> San Juan mayor responds to Trump attacks MSNBC - Duration: 7:16.

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President Trump criticizes government officials in Puerto Rico - Duration: 1:02.

For more infomation >> President Trump criticizes government officials in Puerto Rico - Duration: 1:02.

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Melania Trump fans hit out at Michelle Obama for reading Dr Seuss books - Duration: 3:36.

For more infomation >> Melania Trump fans hit out at Michelle Obama for reading Dr Seuss books - Duration: 3:36.

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Trump Spars With San Juan Mayor - Duration: 2:33.

For more infomation >> Trump Spars With San Juan Mayor - Duration: 2:33.

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What's the latest Trump-Russia investigation news? 9/30/17 - Duration: 10:47.

For more infomation >> What's the latest Trump-Russia investigation news? 9/30/17 - Duration: 10:47.

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Mueller's Witch Hunt Finds Nothing on Trump, But Look Which Obama Truth Surfaced | Top Stories Today - Duration: 3:03.

Though special counsel Robert Mueller has thus far uncovered zero evidence that President

Donald Trump colluded with the Russians to affect the outcome of the 2016 presidential

election, a far more shocking revelation regarding former President Barack Obama has made its

way to the surface.

"US investigators wiretapped former Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort under secret

court orders before and after the election, sources tell CNN, an extraordinary step involving

a high-ranking campaign official now at the center of the Russia meddling probe," CNN

revealed in a bombshell scoop last week.

Obama administration investigators also reportedly wiretapped Trump advisers Carter Page, Michael

Flynn and others.

While it remains unclear how this information was unearthed, CNN's sources claim Mueller's

team "has been provided details of these communications."

But the more pressing point are the implications of this discovery.

"If these reports are accurate, it means U.S. intelligence agencies secretly surveilled

at least a half dozen Trump associates," veteran journalist Sharyl Attkisson explained

in a column for The Hill.

"And those are just the ones we know about."

In other words, "(i)t looks like Obama did spy on Trump, just as he apparently did to

me," she added, referencing an allegation she made several years back that Obama's

Justice Department had attempted to hack into her personal and work computers in 2013.

What remains unknown is whether any of this sketchy behavior was actually legal.

Attkisson noted, however, that even if these hacks and wiretaps were legal, that doesn't

take away from the shadiness of it all.

The truth is, the revelation shows Obama and his administration were actively engaged in

surveillance of American citizens that would have been unthinkable not all that long ago.

As Attkisson writes: "It seems that government monitoring of journalists, members of Congress

and political enemies — under multiple administrations — has become more common than anyone would

have imagined two decades ago … So has the unmasking of sensitive and highly protected

names by political officials."

Agreed.

From targeting conservative organizations via the IRS to trying to force the Little

Sisters of the Poor to pay for abortifacients, the Obama administration waged a relentless

assault on the American people's constitutionally guaranteed rights and liberties.

Will Mueller look into this new information and act accordingly, though?

Considering his decision to line his team with leftists, I think the answer is likely

a resounding "no."

Please share this news on Facebook and Twitter and let us know what you think about these

revelations about the Obama administration.

What do you think about Obama's attacks on the American people's rights and liberties?

Scroll down to comment below and don't forget to subscribe top stories today.

For more infomation >> Mueller's Witch Hunt Finds Nothing on Trump, But Look Which Obama Truth Surfaced | Top Stories Today - Duration: 3:03.

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Trump Taking Healthcare On By Himself - Duration: 9:24.

SENATE REPUBLICANS FAILED TO PASS THE REPEAL EFFORT OR A

REPLACEMENT FOR THE AFFORDABLE CARE ACT WITH A SIMPLE MAJORITY,

AND TRUMP CLAIMS THAT THEY ARE GOING TO TRY THEIR HAND AT THIS

AGAIN NEXT YEAR, AND THAT THEY ESSENTIALLY HAVE ENOUGH VOTES TO

MAKE IT HAPPEN, ALTHOUGH WE ALL KNOW THAT'S NOT THE CASE.

THEY

COULDN'T EVEN PASS IT WITH A SIMPLE MAJORITY.

SPEAKING TO THE

PRESS, TRUMP SAID THAT HE WILL TAKE MATTERS INTO HIS OWN HANDS

WHEN IT COMES TO ONE PARTICULAR ISSUE IN REGARD TO HEALTHCARE --

HE WANTS TO ALLOW PEOPLE TO BUY HEALTH INSURANCE ACROSS

STATE LINES.

I'M CONSIDERING AN EXECUTIVE ORDER ON ASSOCIATIONS AND THAT

WILL TAKE CARE OF A TREMENDOUS NUMBER OF PEOPLE WITH REGARD TO

HEALTHCARE, AND I'LL PROBABLY BE SIGNING A VERY MAJOR EXECUTIVE

ORDER WHERE PEOPLE CAN GO OUT ACROSS STATE LINES AND BUY THEIR

OWN HEALTHCARE, AND THAT WILL BE PROBABLY SIGNED NEXT WEEK, IT'S

BEING FINISHED NOW.

THE REST OF HIS QUOTE WAS IT'S GOING TO COVER A LOT OF

TERRITORY AND A LOT OF PEOPLE, MILLIONS OF PEOPLE.

I'LL PROBABLY BE SIGNING A VERY MAJOR EXECUTIVE ORDER.

THAT

WILL ALLOW PEOPLE TO CROSS STATE LINES, DO A LOT OF THINGS.

BUT I MEAN, I'LL PROBABLY --

WHAT KIND OF PRESIDENT SAYS I'LL PROBABLY DO ANYTHING?

WHAT KIND OF PRESIDENTS AS DO A LOT OF THINGS?

I'LL PROBABLY BE SIGNING -- THEN SIGN IT.

YOU ARE THE

EXECUTIVE.

IT'S NOT JUST A MAJOR ORDER, IT'S A VERY MAJOR ORDER.

IT'S VERY MAJOR.

LET'S TALK A LITTLE BIT ABOUT THE RAMIFICATIONS OF THIS

EXECUTIVE ORDER, IF IT'S FOUND TO BE ONE THAT COULD EVEN BE PUT

INTO EFFECT, BECAUSE THERE'S A BIG QUESTION MARK IN REGARD TO

WHETHER THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT CAN GET INVOLVED IN THE

REGULATIONS THAT STATES HAVE INSURANCE COMPANIES.

AS YOU GUYS

KNOW, REGULATIONS VARY STATE-BY-STATE.

SOME OF THE RED

STATES HAVE WAY LESS REGULATIONS FOR PRIVATE INSURANCE, SOME OF

THE BLUE STATES HAVE STRICTER REGULATIONS.

SO WHEN YOU CREATE

A SYSTEM WHERE PEOPLE CAN BUY INSURANCE ACROSS STATE LINES,

WHAT DO YOU THINK INSURANCE COMPANIES ARE GOING TO DO?

THEY

ARE GOING TO STATES WHERE THERE ARE THE LEAST REGULATIONS AND

IT'S GOING TO BE A RACE TO THE BOTTOM.

LESS REGULATIONS MEAN

THAT US THE CONSUMER GET SCREWED OVER.

THAT'S ONE REASON YOU

AREN'T ALLOWED TO BUY ACROSS STATE LINES, IT GIVES STATES

MORE SAY IN HOW THE COMPANIES ARE RUN.

IF IT MERELY GIVES PEOPLE MORE CHOICE ON THE SURFACE IT SEEMS

--

ON THE SURFACE IT SEEMS GREAT.

BUT BECAUSE THEY ARE DOING IT I'M SURE IT ISN'T.

THAT'S A JOKE BUT IT ISN'T.

IT'S SO AT ODDS WITH THE LEGISLATION THEY JUST TRIED TO

PASS.

HE SAYS WE WILL PASS SOMETHING NEXT YEAR -- THE RULES

CHANGE NEXT YEAR.

THE REASON THEY ARE HURRYING IT FOR

SATURDAY IS THAT BECAUSE THEY WILL NEED 60 SENATORS AFTER

SATURDAY, HE WON'T HAVE 60 SENATORS, DEMOCRATS AREN'T GOING

TO COME FLOCKING TO GRAHAM CASSIDY AFTER THIS IS DONE.

THIS

IS AT ODDS WITH THAT BILL, IT'S SO HAPHAZARD THE WAY THIS

GOVERNMENT IS BEING RUN.

I MADE LIGHT OF IT, BUT HE SAYS HE WILL

CROSS STATE LINES TO BUY INSURANCE, DO A LOT OF OTHER

THINGS, WHO KNOWS WHAT THOSE ARE?

HE CLEARLY DOESN'T.

HERE'S THE THING ABOUT TRUMP IN THIS HEALTHCARE DEBATE.

HE

HAS BEEN BULLYING GOP SENATORS WHO REFUSED TO VOTE IN FAVOR OF

IT BECAUSE THEY ARE ACTUALLY SHOCKINGLY CONCERNED ABOUT THEIR

CONSTITUENTS AND WHAT THEIR CONSTITUENTS WANT, BUT AT THE

SAME TIME TRUMP IS NOT INVOLVED IN ANY OF THESE DISCUSSIONS AT

ALL. AND WHAT I MEAN BY THAT IS HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THESE

PROPOSALS INCLUDE, HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW IT WORKS, ALL HE WANTS

IS A LEGISLATIVE WIN.

HE HASN'T PORED OVER STUDIES, HOW IT MIGHT

IMPACT CONSUMERS OR HOW IT MIGHT NEGATIVELY IMPACT AMERICANS WHO

NEED INSURANCE, DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ANY OF THAT, DOESN'T KNOW,

ISN'T INTERESTED.

HE'S TOO BUSY TWEETING AT FIVE IN THE MORNING

AFTER WATCHING WHATEVER CABLE NEWS SHOW HE'S WATCHING.

AND

THAT'S THE THING, HE IS PLAYING WITH PEOPLE'S LIVES AND

SIMULTANEOUSLY BULLYING LAWMAKERS WHO HAVE AT LEAST

SOME KNOWLEDGE OF WHAT THEY ARE VOTING ON.

THERE ARE 48 DEMOCRATIC SENATORS AND HANDFUL OF HER

PUBLIC AND SENATORS WHO WOULD I PRESUME BE INTERESTED IN FIXING

OBAMACARE AND BOLSTERING IT IN PLACES IT NEEDS TO BE BOLSTERED.

LAMAR ALEXANDER AND PATTY MURRAY WERE WORKING ON IT UNTIL

THEY SAID THEY ARE BRINGING IN GRAHAM CASSIDY, WE DON'T

NEED TO WORK ON IT.

THERE'S A GREAT LINE THAT'S WORTH READING.

TRUMP SAID,

TALKING ABOUT GRAHAM CASSIDY, THE 52 MEMBER CAUCUS HAS UNTIL

SATURDAY BUT SENATOR MCCONNELL PULLED THE VOTE AS IT LACKS

SUPPORT.

TRUMP CLAIMED REPUBLICANS DO HAVE THE

NECESSARY VOTES, THOUGH HE LATER SAID WE ARE ONLY ONE OFF, MAYBE

TWO.

THEN HE REPEATEDLY INSISTED THAT A REPUBLICAN SENATOR,

LIKELY REFERRING TO SENATOR THAD COCHRAN, WHO IS RECOVERING FROM

SURGERY, IS UNLIKELY YES BUT HE'S RECOVERING IN THE HOSPITAL.

A SENATOR FOR COCHRAN SAID THE SENATOR IS NOT IN THE HOSPITAL.

ITS MADNESS AND LUNACY AND GIBBERISH, AND BY THE WAY ALL

THIS EFFORT TO REPEAL THE AFFORDABLE CARE ACT HAS

UNDERMINED THE WAY THE AFFORDABLE CARE ACT WORKS.

THAT WAS A BIG FEAR OF ALL THE SENATORS.

KNOW THE AFFORDABLE CARE ACT IS IN WORSE SHAPE THAN IT HAS

EVER BEEN AND THEY WON'T TRY TO FIX IT, WE HAVE TRUMP NOW SAYING

HE WILL SIGN AN EXECUTIVE ORDER WHERE IT REMAINS UNCLEAR WHETHER

HE WILL BE ABLE LEGALLY TO HAVE ANY EFFECT AT ALL, AND THE ODDS

THAT AN EXECUTIVE ORDER FIXES WHAT IS WRONG WITH OBAMACARE AND

HELPS PEOPLE GET MORE AFFORDABLE INSURANCE STRIKES ME AS

INCONCEIVABLE.

AND TO BE CLEAR, THEY HAVE NO INTENTION OF HELPING TO IMPROVE

OBAMACARE, BECAUSE THEY DON'T THINK THAT'S A GOOD IDEA

POLITICALLY.

THIS IS ALL ABOUT POLITICS, BECAUSE TRUMP FIRST OF

ALL WANTS TO UNDO ANYTHING OBAMA HAS DONE, EVEN IF IT'S A GOOD

POLICY, AND WE ALL LIKE KNOWLEDGE THAT THE AFFORDABLE

CARE ACT NEEDS TO BE IMPROVED, THERE ARE DEFINITELY FLAWS, BUT

IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A FOUNDATION WHICH WE IMPROVE ON.

REPUBLICANS HAVE A CHANCE TO DO THAT, TO PUT POLITICS ASIDE AND

SAY LET'S DO SOMETHING TO HELP THESE INCREASING PREMIUMS,

MAYBE SOME COST CONTROLS.

BUT THEY AREN'T REALLY INTERESTED IN DOING THAT,

THEY WANT TO SEE IT FAIL.

AND WE KNOW FROM REPORTING THAT WHAT SOME REPUBLICANS ARE

HOPING HAPPENS IS THAT THEY JUST WAIT AND TRUMP SAID TODAY FROM A

REPUBLICAN STANDPOINT WE HAVE THE VOTES, WE WILL VOTE IN

JANUARY, FEBRUARY, OR MARCH.

TO DO THAT THEY WOULD HAVE TO PASS

ANOTHER CONTINUING RESOLUTION, AND DECIDE THEY WANT TO DO IT ON

HEALTHCARE AND NOT THE BUDGET, BECAUSE YOU CAN ONLY DO ONE,

UNLESS THEY COMBINED THEM.

WHICH IS SUPER TRICKY, TO COMBINE

THEM.

ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE.

SO THE LIKELIHOOD THAT THEY WILL BE

ABLE TO DO IT IN JANUARY, FEBRUARY, OR MARCH WITH 50 VOTES

IS UNLIKELY.

BUT THEY HOPE THAT THE AFFORDABLE CARE ACT WILL BE

SIGNIFICANTLY WEAKENED, WE KNOW THEY WANT AND WE HAVE SEEN

WIDELY REPORTED, THEY WANT PEOPLE'S HEALTH CARE PLAN TO

FAIL SO THEY CAN REPEAL THE THING THAT HAS BARACK OBAMA'S

NAME ON IT.

THAT'S MADNESS, THAT'S INSANITY.

BY THEN WE ARE ALSO GOING TO BE DEALING WITH ROBERT

MUELLER AND WHAT HE HAS TO SAY.

AND THE LIKELIHOOD THAT SOME OF THESE REPUBLICANS, THE CLOSER

WE GET TO THE MIDTERMS IN 2018, THEY WANT TO GET INVOLVED AND BE

IN CHARGE OF REPEALING IT?

AND I THINK WHAT PAUL RYAN HAD SAID

APPARENTLY AT ONE POINT TO MITCH MCCONNELL WAS WHATEVER YOU PASS,

WE WILL PASS.

SO THAT THEY COULD GET IT DONE AT THE DEADLINE.

THEN YOU WILL BE LOOKING AT SOME VULNERABLE NUMBERS OF THE HOUSE

AND I SUSPECT AS WE GET INTO MARCH, APRIL, AND MAY, THEY WILL

SAY I DON'T WANT TO REPEAL PEOPLE'S HEALTHCARE FOR

MONTHS BEFORE THE ELECTION.

BUT THEIR PLAN CONTINUES TO BE TO WEAKEN OBAMACARE.

AND HIS PLAN IS TO CONTINUE BULLYING SENATORS AND

CONGRESSMEN.

TODAY HE WAS IN INDIANA SELLING TAX REFORMS, HE

FLEW WITH SENATOR JOE DONNELLY ON AIR FORCE ONE TO INDIANA, DID

HIS RALLY, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RALLY LOOKED AT JOE DONNELLY AND

SAID IF YOU DON'T VOTE FOR THIS WE WILL WORK SO HARD TO MAKE

SURE YOU ARE NOT ELECTED, AFTER HE FLEW HIM OUT THERE.

ON THE

ONE HAND HE'S A REPUBLIC AND PRESIDENT COME HE'S NOT GOING TO

WORK HARD TO GET JOE DONNELLY ELECTED, A DEMOCRAT IN INDIANA.

BUT IT'S THIS THREATENING AND BULLYING, IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.

THAT'S WHAT HE LOVES TO DO.

IF YOU ARE A DEMOCRAT, DON'T GET ON THE PLANE.

For more infomation >> Trump Taking Healthcare On By Himself - Duration: 9:24.

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Donald Trump's Mental Stability Continues To Decline - Duration: 4:17.

There have been a lot of things going on recently with Donald Trump's overall behavior.

I think it's time that we address some of those and talk again about Donald Trump's

continuing mental decline.

First and foremost, one of the biggest ones of the last week or so is the fact that he

picks a fight with the NFL, calls them sons of bitches while referring to White supremacists

as some very fine people.

Then he continues to double down and he triples down and he quadruples down on that all throughout

the weekend as if he's going to make it better by continuing to dig while he's already in

the hole.

He is actively antagonizing a dictator in North Korea who may or may not have nuclear

weapons and may or may not want to fire them at the United States.

He lied about Obama wiretapping him and, no, the Manafort wiretap did not fall into that

category.

He lies about everything on Twitter.

He's picking fights with celebrities.

He's picking fights with athletes.

He's picking fights with everybody.

Report say that his staff is almost leery to go near him because of his volatile attitude.

They don't know who's going to show up that day.

Is it fairly decent normal Donald Trump or is unhinged Donald Trump who's throwing things

at the TV?

Reports have shown that staffers have said that, yeah, he's throwing stuff at his TV

because he's so angry.

All of this points to a very specific problem and that is that Donald Trump is not mentally

capable to carry out the duties required of him as president of the United States.

The 25th Amendment that provides for removal of the president on those grounds, it is beyond

past time that we invoke that.

This man is not stable enough to care for the United States.

He's not stable enough to be trusted to pass legislation and he's certainly not stable

enough to be trusted on any matters of foreign policy.

Republicans and Democrats need to understand this and, to be honest, judging on stories

that have come out of what people are saying behind the scenes, they both do.

There's really not a whole lot of disagreement in Washington, D.C. among our elected officials

about Donald Trump's declining mental stability.

Republicans and Democrats seem to agree with that.

Alex Jones tried to explain it away recently with an insane conspiracy theory but at least

he acknowledges that it is actually happening if his reason for it is a little absurd.

Everybody is starting to catch on here and White House staffers themselves are afraid

that eventually it's going to lead to some kind of catastrophe spurred on by Donald Trump's

erratic and unstable personality.

That's not okay.

We shouldn't have to wait for a missile to hit in the United States before we invoke

the 25th Amendment, before we get this madman out of office.

We shouldn't have to wait for North Korea to send a nuke over to Guam before we start

thinking you know what?

Maybe Donald Trump's insults are spurring this a little bit.

Maybe he's not fit to be president.

Maybe he's only making everything worse in this country.

The time has passed.

There is no more need to deliberate.

We don't need any further evidence.

We have enough as it is.

Every elected official in Washington, D.C. needs to get behind this because you know

what?

We'd end up with Mike Pence and he'd be really bad.

But, at this point, there's no such thing as worse than Donald Trump.

I think we all need to understand that and I think it's time to start making those phone

calls to D.C. to tell your elected official it's time for the 25th Amendment.

For more infomation >> Donald Trump's Mental Stability Continues To Decline - Duration: 4:17.

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Lin-Manuel Miranda a Trump: Ud. va "derecho al infierno" - Duration: 0:39.

For more infomation >> Lin-Manuel Miranda a Trump: Ud. va "derecho al infierno" - Duration: 0:39.

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Weekend Update on Hurricane Maria - SNL - Duration: 9:16.

<b>>> Announcer: IT'S "WEEKEND </b>

<b>UPDATE," WITH COLIN JOST, AND </b>

<b>MICHAEL CHE.</b>

<b>[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]</b>

<b>>> THANK YOU, GOOD EVENING, </b>

<b>EVERYONE.</b>

<b>>> WELCOME TO "WEEKEND UPDATE" </b>

<b>I'M MICHAEL CHE.</b>

<b>>> AND I'M COLIN JOST.</b>

<b>Well after President</b>

<b>Trump was criticized for a</b>

<b>terrible response to Hurricane</b>

<b>Maria.</b>

<b>This morning he finally gave</b>

<b>the people of Puerto Rico what</b>

<b>they needed most.</b>

<b>A bunch of tweets straight up</b>

<b>calling them lazy.</b>

<b>>>> TRUMP SAYS THE PEOPLE OF </b>

<b>PUERTO RICO, QUOTE, WANT </b>

<b>EVERYTHING TO BE DONE FOR THEM".</b>

<b>THEN HE TOLD HIS CADDY TO REPAIR</b>

<b>HIS DIFFICULTY AND DRIVE HIM TO </b>

<b>THE NEXT HOLE.</b>

<b>TRUMP ALWAYS SAID HE WAS GOING </b>

<b>TO GET THINGS DONE FASTER THAN </b>

<b>ANY OTHER PRESIDENT.</b>

<b>NOW I BELIEVE HIM.</b>

<b>IT TOOK GEORGE W. BUSH TO GET </b>

<b>HIS KATRINA.</b>

<b>MEANWHILE, RAPPER PITBULL HAS </b>

<b>LOANED OUT HIS PRIVATE JET TO </b>

<b>HELP RESCUE PEOPLE IN PUERTO </b>

<b>RICO.</b>

<b>WOW, IF ONLY DONALD TRUMP KNEW </b>

<b>SOMEONE WITH A PRIVATE JET.</b>

<b>[ LAUGHTER ]</b>

<b>HOW IS THE PRESIDENT OF THE </b>

<b>UNITED STATES WORSE AT </b>

<b>HUMANITARIAN AID THAN PITBULL.</b>

<b>AND YOU KNOW PITBULL IS DOING IT</b>

<b>WHILE ALSO FEATURING ON FOUR </b>

<b>DIFFERENT TRACKS AND HOSTING </b>

<b>FOAM PARTIES FOR BUD LIGHT.</b>

<b>TRUMP IS BUSY DOING THE REAL </b>

<b>WORK, MAKING EXCUSES WHILE HALF </b>

<b>EXPLAINING WHAT AN ISLAND IS.</b>

<b>JUST WATCH.</b>

<b>>> THIS IS AN ISLAND, SURROUNDED</b>

<b>BY WATER, BIG WATER, OCEAN </b>

<b>WATER.</b>

<b>>> WATER YOU TALKING ABOUT, MAN?</b>

<b>THIS ISN'T A TREACHEROUS </b>

<b>JOURNEY.</b>

<b>IT'S PUERTO RICO.</b>

<b>NOT SKULL ISLAND.</b>

<b>CRUISE SHIPS FULL OF RETIRED </b>

<b>AUNTS GO THERE EVERY DAY.</b>

<b>I THINK TRUMP IS WORKING OF ONE </b>

<b>OF THOSE OLD SAILOR MAPS WITH </b>

<b>SEA MONSTERS ON IT.</b>

<b>>> AFTER THE MAYOR OF SAN JUAN </b>

<b>CRITICIZED THE GOVERNMENT'S </b>

<b>PUERTO RICAN RELIEF EFFORTS </b>

<b>PRESIDENT TRUMP ATTACKED HER ON </b>

<b>TWITTER SAYING, "THE MAYOR OF </b>

<b>SAN JUAN WHO WAS VERY </b>

<b>COMPLIMENTARY ONLY A FEW DAYS </b>

<b>AGO.</b>

<b>HAS NOW BEEN TOLD BY THE </b>

<b>DEMOCRATS THAT YOU MUST BE NASTY</b>

<b>TO TRUMP."</b>

<b>OH, REALLY, DONALD?</b>

<b>YOU BITCH.</b>

<b>WAS SHE NASTY TO YOU?</b>

<b>HOW NASTY?</b>

<b>ARE YOU SHAKING?</b>

<b>DO YOU WANT TO SMOKE A VIRGINIA </b>

<b>SLIM UNTIL YOUR HAND STOPS </b>

<b>MOVING?</b>

<b>THIS ISN'T A COMPLICATED ISSUE, </b>

<b>MAN, IT'S HURRICANE RELIEF.</b>

<b>YOU JUST DID THIS VERY SAME </b>

<b>THING FOR WHITE PEOPLE, TWICE.</b>

<b>SO, TELL MELANIA TO PUT ON HER </b>

<b>FLOOD HEELS.</b>

<b>GET YOU SOME BOTTLED WATER, SOME</b>

<b>FOOD, SOME ATLANTA FALCONS SUPER</b>

<b>BOWL T-SHIRTS, WRITE A CHECK AND</b>

<b>-- WITH OUR MONEY, YOU CHEAP </b>

<b>CRACKER.</b>

<b>IN ONE MONTH YOU HAVE MISHANDLED</b>

<b>PUERTO RICO, DACA, THE NFL.</b>

<b>IT'S LIKE WHEN ANYBODY DARKER </b>

<b>THAN YOUR GOLF PANTS HAS A </b>

<b>PROBLEM YOU ARE THINKING HOW CAN</b>

<b>I MAKE THIS WORSE.</b>

<b>HEALTH AND SERVICES SECRETARY </b>

<b>TOM PRICE WAS CAUGHT USING </b>

<b>ALMOST A MILLION DOLLARS IN </b>

<b>TAXPAYER MONEY TO FRIDAY ON </b>

<b>PRIVATE JETS.</b>

<b>THAT'S COOL YOU RESIGNED, BUT </b>

<b>HOW ABOUT YOU PAY BACK THE </b>

<b>MONEY?</b>

<b>YOU CAN'T WALK INTO A STORE AND </b>

<b>DO A MILLION DOLLARS WORTH OF </b>

<b>DAMAGE AND THEN BE LIKE I GET </b>

<b>IT, I'LL LEAVE.</b>

<b>MAN, WE WANT YOU TO PAY.</b>

<b>YOU CAN MAKE THAT MILLION BACK </b>

<b>WHEN YOU PUBLISH YOUR MEMOIR, </b>

<b>ALL THE PLACES YOU'LL GO ON A </b>

<b>GOVERNMENT FUNDED PRIVATE JET.</b>

<b>>>> THIS WEEK PRESIDENT TRUMP </b>

<b>CONTINUED HIS CRITICISM OF NFL </b>

<b>PLAYERS WHO TOOK A KNEE DURING </b>

<b>THE NATIONAL ANTHEM.</b>

<b>HE FIGURED CNN MSNBC ALREADY </b>

<b>HATE ME, HOW CAN I GET ESPN TO </b>

<b>HAID MADE ME, TOO.</b>

<b>BECAUSE TRUMP NEEDS EVERY </b>

<b>NETWORK TALKING ABOUT HIM, NEXT </b>

<b>HE IS GOING TO TWEET AT </b>

<b>NICKELODEON THAT THEY NEED TO </b>

<b>SHOW US DORA'S PAPERS.</b>

<b>>> THE COMMISSIONER OF THE NBA </b>

<b>SAID THAT HE EXPECTED PLAYERS TO</b>

<b>FOLLOW LEAGUE RULES AND STAND </b>

<b>DURING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM.</b>

<b>THE NBA IS WHAT, 130, 140% </b>

<b>BLACK?</b>

<b>WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU GOING TO DO</b>

<b>IF THEY ALL DECIDE TO KNEEL?</b>

<b>HAVE THE NEW YORK PORZINGIS PLAY</b>

<b>THE SAN ANTONIO GINOBILI?</b>

<b>AND, HOW DID THIS GUY GET TO BE </b>

<b>THE COMMISSIONER OF THE NBA </b>

<b>ANYWAY?</b>

<b>HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY PUT A </b>

<b>SUIT ON A SEX TOY.</b>

<b>IT'S HARD TO ASK BLACK PLAYERS </b>

<b>TO RESPECT THE FLAG WHEN THEY </b>

<b>KNOW THIS COUNTRY CARES MORE </b>

<b>ABOUT IT THAN US.</b>

<b>OKAY?</b>

<b>WE LOVE THE FLAG, IT'S JUST THAT</b>

<b>WHITE GUYS REALLY LOVE THE FLAG.</b>

<b>I MEAN, IT'S ONE THING TO LIKE </b>

<b>I BET IF YOU ASK A BLACK PERSON,</b>

<b>DO YOU LOVE AMERICA?</b>

<b>HE'S LIKE, WHOA I LOVE BROOKLYN,</b>

<b>I AM RESERVING JUDGMENT ON THE </b>

<b>DAKOTAS.</b>

<b>>> ANGELA MERKEL WAS REELECTED </b>

<b>AS CHANCELLOR OF GERMANY FOR A </b>

<b>FOURTH TERM AND IS NOW THE </b>

<b>LONGEST SERVING LEADER IN </b>

<b>EUROPE.</b>

<b>HERE TO COMMENT IS GERMAN </b>

<b>CHANCELLOR ANGELA MERKEL.</b>

<b>[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]</b>

<b>>> OH, YEAH, I AM THE WINNER, </b>

<b>YAY!</b>

<b>YAY!</b>

<b>>> WAIT, WAIT, ARE YOU HAPPY </b>

<b>THAT YOU WON?</b>

<b>>> YES.</b>

<b>OF COURSE I'M HAPPY.</b>

<b>IS THAT NOT COMING ACROSS?</b>

<b>I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON MY SMILE.</b>

<b>YAY!</b>

<b>>> IT LOOKS A LITTLE TORTURED.</b>

<b>>> OKAY.</b>

<b>WELL, TO BE HONEST, COLIN PART </b>

<b>OF ME WAS HOPING TO RETIRE EVEN </b>

<b>THOUGH THE AVERAGE RETIREMENT </b>

<b>AGE IN GERMANY IS 87, AT WHICH </b>

<b>POINT YOU TRANSITION INTO MANUAL</b>

<b>LABOR.</b>

<b>ALSO, MY VICTORY WAS BITTER </b>

<b>SWEET BECAUSE THE FAR, FAR RIGHT</b>

<b>PARTY WON SEATS IN OUR </b>

<b>PARLIAMENT FOR THE FIRST TIME </b>

<b>SINCE THE -- YOU KNOW.</b>

<b>>> WHAT WAS THAT?</b>

<b>>> YOU KNOW, THE --</b>

<b>>> THE NAZIS.</b>

<b>GOT YOU, YEAH.</b>

<b>YEAH, I GOT TO SAY YOU SEEM </b>

<b>STRESSED OUT CHANCELLOR.</b>

<b>>> OH, THANK YOU.</b>

<b>>> NO, I MEAN I'M WORRIED ABOUT </b>

<b>YOU, I'M WORRIED THAT YOU ARE </b>

<b>DEALING WITH A LOT.</b>

<b>>> YEAH, TELL ME ABOUT IT.</b>

<b>IT'S LIKE EVERYONE IN EUROPE IS </b>

<b>HAVING A ROWDY SLUMBER PARTY AND</b>

<b>I'M THE MEAN MOM WHO HAS TO SEND</b>

<b>THEM TO BED WITHOUT THEIR </b>

<b>RADISHES.</b>

<b>>> DO YOU HAVE ANY ALLIES LEFT </b>

<b>>> NO ALLIES.</b>

<b>MOSTLY ACTORS THESE DAYS.</b>

<b>EXCEPT OH, FOR THAT FRENCH HUNK </b>

<b>MACRON, OOH-LA-LA.</b>

<b>GET ME SOME DIAPHRAGMS.</b>

<b>I THINK OF THIS GUY I'M LIKE, </b>

<b>OBAMA WHO?</b>

<b>BARACK IS IT WORKING?</b>

<b>AM I MAKING YOU JEALOUS?</b>

<b>LEAVE MICHELE.</b>

<b>>> OH NO, YOU'RE STILL THAT HUNG</b>

<b>UP ON OBAMA, HUH?</b>

<b>>> I KNOW I MUST ACCEPT THAT </b>

<b>IT'S OVER AND MOVE ON.</b>

<b>SO, I DECIDED TO GET RID OF </b>

<b>EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE THAT </b>

<b>REMINDS ME OF HIM.</b>

<b>THIS LOVE LETTER I WROTE HIM BUT</b>

<b>NEVER SENT.</b>

<b>TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN, I </b>

<b>RESPECT YOU, TEPID REGARDS, </b>

<b>MERKEL.</b>

<b>A MIX CD I MADE YOU BUT WAS TOO </b>

<b>SHY TO GIVE.</b>

<b>IT'S A MIX OF ALL THE SONGS BY </b>

<b>CREED.</b>

<b>A PICTURE OF US AT THE G20 </b>

<b>SUMMIT.</b>

<b>I WAS COLD AND YOU LET ME BORROW</b>

<b>YOUR JACKET.</b>

<b>TURNS OUT WE WERE WEARING THE </b>

<b>SAME SUIT.</b>

<b>I HAD TO STOP FOLLOWING HIM ON </b>

<b>SOCIAL MEDIA SO I WOULDN'T BE </b>

<b>TEMPTED THE SLIDE INTO HIS DMs.</b>

<b>ONE NIGHT I HAD ONE TOO MANY </b>

<b>SHOTS, ONE.</b>

<b>AND I SENT HIM A PICTURE OF MY </b>

<b>BARE KNEE.</b>

<b>HE WROTE BACK, IS THAT A PEELED </b>

<b>POTATO?</b>

<b>[ LAUGHTER ]</b>

<b>>> WOW.</b>

<b>IT REALLY MUST BE HARD TO GO </b>

<b>FROM OBAMA TO TRUMP.</b>

<b>AND I ALSO HEARD THAT TRUMP </b>

<b>WAITED FOUR DAYS BEFORE HE </b>

<b>CALLED YOU TO SAY CONGRATS.</b>

<b>>> FOUR DAYS.</b>

<b>FOUR DAYS, HE WAITS.</b>

<b>WHICH IN GERMANY IS LIKE </b>

<b>20 BUSINESS DAYS.</b>

<b>FINALLY I SENT HIM A TINY </b>

<b>E-MAIL, I WAS LIKE ARE YOU GOING</b>

<b>SAY ANYTHING?</b>

<b>AND HE WAS LIKE OH, SORRY, JUST </b>

<b>SAW THIS, DIDN'T HAVE MY PHONE.</b>

<b>AND I WAS LIKE, THAT FEELING </b>

<b>WHEN HE DOESN'T TEXT YOU BACK, </b>

<b>BUT YOU SEE HIM TWEETING.</b>

<b>>> I THINK YOU NEED TO TAKE SOME</b>

<b>TIME AFTER YOUR VICTORY TO </b>

<b>RELAX.</b>

<b>HALLOWEEN IS RIGHT AROUND THE </b>

<b>CORNER.</b>

<b>>>> ALREADY KNOW WHAT MY SFOOUM </b>

<b>WILL BE.</b>

<b>I WILL BE GOING A SLUTTY ANGELA </b>

<b>MERKEL.</b>

<b>THAT'S ME, BUT WITH A HAT.</b>

For more infomation >> Weekend Update on Hurricane Maria - SNL - Duration: 9:16.

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