I am banjaxed on gin
before I'll even consider getting on a flight!
Monday August 14th 2017
On a day when:
Trump won't slam Klan.
Police body cam.
Flight drinking ban.
Theives stealing lamb.
I'm Carpet Martin
Welcome to British Rationals
Donald Trump has been widely criticised
for failing to condemn Saturday's attack in Charlottesville
By a white supremacist that's left one anti-racism protester dead.
Is there a solution to this?
Ethnic minorities need to start infiltrating the KKK.
Change comes from within.
#yesweklan
Of course Trump hasn't condemned it!
I'm surprised he wasn't driving the car!
If the white people don't like it over in America,
they could come to our village.
We've only got one black family
and they don't come out much anymore
after the...
unpleasantness.
You know, I totally get it because
Its like when you're trying to mix a salad
and it just won't mix together very well
And then the white cabbage
drives a car into the purple cabbage.
Armed police in Britain are set to be issued with head-mounted cameras
in a bid to provide "greater transparency" during firearm incidents.
Is this going to make you feel safer?
Definitely!
And also...
who doesn't want to see a drug dealer getting shot?
Send it in to You've Been Framed
Its worth 250 quid any day.
You know? I totally don't agree with this
because it completely goes against
the hypocritical oath
that policemen have to take.
So now when they illegally assault people
they get to watch it back over a beer with their mates.
Well, I'm all for getting lots of footage
but I don't know when they're going to get a chance to watch it.
I've still not watched my gap year film!
*giggles*
Trade body Airlines UK have called for a ban
on people consuming their own alcohol on flights
after a BBC Panorama investigation claimed that arrests of drunk passengers
have increased by 50% in a year.
Does that affect your holiday plans at all?
Well obviously I try not to fly because I'm carbon neutral
but I did once meet a friend at an airport
and we got totally sloshed.
And, when we sobered up
we'd ended up hitchhiking to Antigua!
*laughs*
I say hitchhiked...
it was my uncle's plane.
I... I... did once have a strawberry daiquiri before getting on a flight and
I was completely out of control.
I fell asleep during the flight safety instructions.
Well I just feel really bad
for the people back in economy class
and I think they have to be allowed to entertain themselves somehow
because
they must get withdrawal symptoms
from
football...
and...
and cock-fights...
and smack.
A report by NFU mutual has claimed that rural crime
cost the UK £39 million last year
with many farmers feeling "under siege from thieves"
and believing farmyards were becoming "fortresses".
What do you think can be done to stop this menace?
OK...
The real crime in the countryside
is the slaughter of innocent animals.
I think they made a film about it.
Its called something like...
Silence Of The Lambs?
You should watch it.
Shoot the b***ers
and serve them for breakfast!
Well, I'm a city girl
The only thing the countryside is really good for
is keeping towns apart.
I swear...
If one more sheep of mine goes missing
one more time
well there'll be more...
unpleasantness.
I once went to the countryside on a school trip
I got locked in an owl sanctuary.
It still haunts me today.
Hoo!
Hoo!
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