On Friday night,
Trump received the spookiest news of all.
Special Counsel Robert Mueller was going
to drop his first indictments.
And by the way, by the way,
if Robert Mueller doesn't walk into every interrogation room
saying, "It's Mueller time," he's wasting his life.
-(laughter) -Yeah, he is.
Like, first thing he should do every time he walks in,
just be like, "Hey, perp, what time is it?"
"Uh, 6:45?"
"Wrong. It's Mueller time.
You just lied to the FBI."
So everyone was waiting to find out who was maybe going to jail,
and early this morning, we all discovered.
-♪ ♪ -A Fox News alert.
Former Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort slapped
with a 12-count federal indictment,
including conspiracy against the U.S.,
money laundering and failure to disclose foreign lobbying.
This is a bad day for Paul Manafort.
MAN: They threw the book at him.
He's looking at ten to 15 years in prison.
Happy Halloween, bitch.
(laughter)
(applause and cheering)
What a crappy day for Paul Manafort.
Although at least it happened before Halloween,
because now he can change his costume to sexy convict.
-(laughter) -This is good. This is good.
And it really doesn't look good.
12 counts, including conspiracy against the United States.
I don't even know what that means, but it just sounds bad.
So, uh, Paul Manafort has now been charged with lobbying
for the government of the Ukraine
and not telling the U.S. government he did this.
He's also been charged with laundering
tens of millions of dollars into secret foreign bank accounts
in remote island nations around the world.
Which basically makes Manafort one eye patch away
from being a Bond villain, straight up.
And after Manafort turned himself in this morning,
he pled not guilty to all charges.
Which means now we could get to see him in court.
And I pray to God that he has to testify.
Because we already know from the campaign
that he is the world's worst liar.
To be clear, Mr. Trump has no financial relationships
with any Russian oligarchs?
If that's what he said, uh, uh, that's what I s...
that's... obviously what the... our position is.
Ab-ba-ba, ba-ba, ab-da-ba, sha-ba-ba, ba-da-ba-da-ba.
(laughter)
I like imagining Paul Manafort trying to tell
a "that's what she said" joke.
"Mr. Manafort, your prison sentence could be long
and hard to handle."
"That-that-that's what she... well, but that...
"that's what I... that's what I...
"sai... that's obviously the position
that-that she mentioned that. Duh."
So, Robert Mueller has indicted
Donald Trump's former campaign chairman, Paul Manafort--
or, as Trump's people call him, "New phone, who dis?"
Today's announcement has nothing to do with the president,
has nothing to do with the president's campaign
or campaign activity.
There is absolutely nothing in these indictments
that in any way involves the campaign.
The president had nothing to do with coordination, collusion
(garbled): or cooperatio... with Russia.
Nobody at the campaign did that I'm aware of.
(garbled gibberish): ...cooperatio... with Russia.
Cooperatio... Corey Lewandowski always reminds me
of an angry old man speaking without his dentures.
(garbled): Cooperatio... with Russia.
Get... give me back my teeth. Wah!
Now, look, now, this part
of what everyone in Trump's camp is saying is true.
It is true. None of Manafort's charges
relate directly to the campaign.
But I don't know if they are willfully ignoring it
or are completely oblivious to what's going on here.
What happened this morning
wasn't just a 12-count indictment.
It was Bob Mueller signaling
that he's not just going after collusion, people,
he'll take you down for any crime,
including pre-campaign financial crimes,
aka Donald Trump's career.
(laughter)
But I can see why Team Trump
was happy with this morning's news--
because at least it wasn't about them colluding with Russia.
And then... this happened.
-♪ ♪ -This is CNN Breaking News.
A former foreign policy advisor to the Trump campaign
has pleaded guilty to lying to FBI officials.
The complaint says George Papadopoulos,
he lied about his contacts with foreign nationals
who had close connections to the Russian government.
It's still Halloween, bitches.
(laughter, applause, whooping)
Just two hours... two hours after the Manafort story broke,
we suddenly find out that one of Trump's campaign advisors,
George Papadopoulos, was trying to connect the Trump campaign
with Russian government officials
who had dirt on Hillary.
So now the story is back to Trump-Russia collusion.
Yeah. You know what would be hilarious?
Is if this news broke
right as Trump was popping the champagne
about the Manafort thing.
He was like, "Yeah, the Mueller indictment
has nothing to do with me."
-(pretends to pop champagne cork) -(whoops)
"Mike Pence, come over here.
"Let's get them titties wet. (whoops)
"Yeah, yeah. (whoops)
"Wait, wait, wait, wait. Another indictment?
"Wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop, goddamn champagne.
"No. Stop. This is not the time, champagne.
"Mike Pence, dry them titties. Dry them titties.
Dry them titties."
(regular voice): And Mike Pence should dry them titties,
because unlike Manafort's indictment,
Papadopoulos' crime does relate directly
to colluding with Russia, which makes the situation
much more dangerous to Donald Trump,
especially given this little detail.
TV REPORTER: We know he's cooperating.
He was actually arrested in late July.
And court documents say he's repeatedly been questioned
by the government since then and has been providing answers.
A Papadopoulos indictment has got to be the one
that has, uh, has Trump world really sweating
because it's a guilty plea.
It directly deals with collusion and he is cooperating.
That's right, folks... it's Mueller time.
Another day another barrage of tweets from President Trump insisting that there was no Russian interference in the u.s.
Presidential election it comes as an academic working here in the UK has denied suggestions that he told one of the president's aides that
Moscow could supply damaging information about Hillary Clinton from all let's go to skies respond Hannah Thomas Peter
Who is standing by in Washington for us so the president once again getting?
involved, but the link between Russia and
the president
Potentially now is going via the United Kingdom. It. Just gets curiouser and curiouser
It does it's a very difficult story to follow
But let's try and lay out what happened yesterday when robert muller who is a special counsel appointed by the Department of Justice
charged with investigating
Any potential collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia to swing the November 2016?
election laid out the first of his criminal charges, so he said that he was going to indict Paul Manafort former chair of
Trump's campaign and his close associate Rick Gates for laundering money and hiding assets associated with work in the Ukraine and for
Pro-russian groups there, and then separately and more surprisingly and potentially more significantly
Robert muller revealed a guilty plea that had been entered by a man called george papadapolis
previously unheard of
Relatively speaking who a young volunteer foreign policy adviser on the Trump campaign who had pleaded guilty to lying to an FBI?
Agent about the timing and the significance of his contacts
With people who he admitted he knew had
Contact or associated with the Russian government now one of these people was in fact a professor who is now working in the UK
associated with the University of Stirling
At the politics department there called Joseph miss furred. I think we can show you some photographs of him
He's on the right in that first photograph. You can see
joined by representative from the Russian embassy in the UK and
He according to robert Miller's indictment met George
papadopolis and
introduced him to a female Russian representative who was apparently a
Relative and Vladimir Putin stay with me if you can on this and also somebody
Related to the Russian Foreign Ministry now
The Daily Telegraph has managed to speak to Joseph Smith's foot who's confirmed his identity but said that he has a clear conscience
Denied any meddling when it comes to the u.s.
Elections and Russia and Accord the allegations upsetting and incredible meanwhile as you say Donald Trump is tweeting
According to the Washington Post he watched all this unfold yesterday, and he was furious about it
He said the fake news is working overtime as
Paul manna forts lawyer said there was no collusion and events mentioned took place long before he came to the campaign few people knew the
Long the young low-level volunteer named George who has already proven a liar check the Dems
While all of this is going on and while senior members of the Trump campaign are now fighting criminal charges
Donald Trump in his administration are trying to govern this week was supposed to be about
Tax reform Donald Trump is about to go on a high-profile trip to Asia as the North Korean nuclear crisis escalates
He doesn't want to be talking about Russia all the time, but that is what keeps happening and Robert Moses investigation continues
Okay for now. Thank you